booze. ball. tiles. me. life. faith.

2009-01-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

REALITY CHECK

da more i read others' blogs and my previous entries, da more i miss times in oslo.

its great to see loved ones aft so long, but i guess a big part of mi are left back in oslo.

da snow, da cold, da stark differences as compared to sg, reallie reallie gonna miss them all. on da other hand, returning to sg seems like waking up from a dream. little, in fact nothing, have changed. even lot1 seems da same despite a major refurbishment. da dream, seems so full of happenings, yet too short to savor its full detail. im sure i will take a lifetime to reflect on wat ive done during those 5 months.

i reallie reallie wanna go back, but will things be da same if i was to go by myself? i guess so. da helplessness and loneliness myt be too much to bear. but somehow i always feel i can handle it eventually.

perhaps da grass always looks greener on da other side.

or, perhaps i shud stop being emo and plan my nxt big trip. :)

2008-12-06T02:59:00.000-08:00

COMPLETE

let time stops right at this moment, this reunion, right now... :)

2008-11-06T08:35:00.000-08:00

AND THE T.A.F CLUB APPLE AWARD GOES TO...

me!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! bring on the chocs and supper tonite!!! :D

hopefully my loss is ur gain... :)

2008-11-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

ALL OVER AGAIN

honestly, da idea of exchange buffles mi. i noe im supposed to enjoy every bit of it, traveling to wherever i wan to go and enjoying life sinfully to some extent. yet at da back of my head, personal expectation as well as external ones cant seem to be put out of da picture.

enuff emo-ness, time to mug. exams in 3 weeks. but how to mug when there's always dinner to take care of at the back of ur mind? not tt im complaining tho... :)

pork chop on the menu today! topped with boiled carrots, curry-wurst wedges, mushroom soup and home-made garlic breads tt din make it in time for this pic! OMGOMGOMG!!!

the spread. :D

u reallie reallie gotta give credit to 5 big boys who can nv seem to hav any problem fixing a sumptuous, and impressive dinner. cheers to blk 12 floor 11!!!

2008-10-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

'FAMILY'

now tt da trashing out is done, its a matter of sitting down n listen to wat each of us has to say. da qn is, are we willing to do tt? n are we willing to accept each other's fault in dis misunderstanding.

there are some bond tt means alot, n personally its one tt i reallie cherish. juz wish tt each of us will be matured enough to sort things out. no pt hiding feelings from one another.

perhaps it myt be naive to think tt its not too late to do so, but really hope da coming trip will be one tt we get to noe each other better, n all over again...

2008-10-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

'人言可畏'

i hate hypocrites. n its sad to find you as one.

its really sad to see tt aft so long, da idea of mutual trust is not registered. or u simply care less. aft all tt we hav done, obviously personal interest comes before ours as a whole. now tt even he feels tt way, i tink u shud really be reflecting on how u are dealing wid certain issues. dun you take our kindness for weakness.

u hav officially lost da trust among us.

2008-10-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

WAKE UP CALL

dis post is probably one of da few to remind myself of things.

ppl come. ppl go. end of da day, u need to step out of da picture to figure out who u can trust, or feel tt u can trust. im glad i've found some amidst all dis fun tt blinds u from things. :)

on the other hand, PERHAPS its high time to sit down n concentrate on PASSING my exams. its not easy, wid all da end yr plannings and peer pressure arnd me. but im gonna slow down n look at wat i really want n need to do.

nevertheless, im enjoying myself, n cant wait for 5th Dec to come. yet another dream comes true. :)

2008-10-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

WHEN DREAMS TURN REALITY

E-I-E-I-E-I-O
Up the Premier League we go
When we go to Europe
This is what we'll sing
We are Geordies, Super Geordies
Keegan is our King!

no, im not fantasizing. it'd all happened, n its gonna get better. i luv my life, and im living the best outta it.

able to see the diverse cultures and history of europe, seeing snow the 1st time in my life; i did it. visiting st. james' park and catching the magpies in action for the 1st time in my life; been there done tt. going to berlin to erase my regret of missing out on sec 3 school trip back den; i've done it. playing soccer in europe, in freezing temperature(7deg) and drizzling rain as the epl does; im doing it. n now, touring the world wid the luv of my life; we are gonna make it happen.

next, the pics tt will make js, rod, jishun, n vincent cursing me wid envy:

arriving at st. james' park metro station!

u know what's gonna come your way when u see dis banner 400m away from the stadium.

bros, forget the red devils store, our magpies official store is freaking 2-storey! spent 2hrs inside, taking practically everythg i saw, onli to slow myself down to count my budget... haha...

pride of the north.

my very 1st epl match. realised i bought a more expensive ticket: the platinum club. but probably worth the money as u will see ltr.

taxi for ashley!

the fans have spoken. dis tee was one of my regrets. din mng to find da old man selling it. definitely a limited edition.

time to grab a bite before the game! steak burger!

need i say more?!

'shoes up, if u hate ashley!'

the parade before the game.

the platinum lounge, access to platinum club ticket holder onli.

my doze of extra chilled carling before the game. gg at 2 pounds! :)

the view from my seat. value for money eh?!

a day to remember.

seats are slowly filling up. most of the fans are still parading outside the stadium. haha...

n the players are warming up! owen!

final huddle up before kick-off.

the farking penalty that nv was.

final whistle. but honestly the game is merely a sideshow to wat's coming after tt.

all's not lost even aft a defeat. still hav time to take pic wid my hero. :)

the demostration at the main reception. lasted for 1.5hrs aft the game.

some of the geordies i met. n im officially an adopted geordie she said. :D

who would have expect all the dreams u ever had can all be realised in juz 5 months?

who would have thought that your life cannot get any better?

yes yes im boasting. but if u were me, wouldnt you? end of the day, u rem. tt u gotta thank the One up there.

stop dreaming. live it. to my fellow bros in black n white: 'toon-toon-all-the way!' :)

2008-09-04T01:55:00.000-07:00

UPDATES

juz when u tot u've settle down, traveling plans start kicking in. schedules are really packed for the next 3 weeks. 1st is a weekend trip to da world's most famous train ride tmr: flam. next week will be a trip back to london to film a video for the internship i went. will be taking da opportunity to see da Magpies in action! but farking King Kev choose dis time to resign! sianz ji buah... anywae, on da fortnight week is a 10-days trip to bremen-berlin-prague-budapest-krakow-warsaw. shock onli...

school work is really catching up on me. really worried at times with all da heavy readings. but im honestly more worried of a bad turn out at St. James' Park next Saturday. seh... suey suey buy tix and all liao den resign... smlj...

some pics to update bout life in oslo. 1st n formost, smthg tt i missed out while i was still traveling, n thank god i was away. be warn tt da content may contain disturbing images... lolz...

apparantly this is da night of 'clubbing in da kitchen'. wtf?!

wtf x2?!

hard gay w his sidekick in oslo.

notting beats eating bbq outside our balcony on a cold cold day! it was 12deg tt day. huat ah!

ah... fresh meat!!!

life revolves arnd our 3 meals everyday. tts a 20kg pack of rice for you. we estimate it will onli last us for 3 weeks. seh... rice is 2x da price of sg btw...

our dinner for today! leaving for da weekend tmr so decided to clear our fridge! da result: cabbage-broccoli-carrot-potato-onion soup, baked cheese salmon, samba salmon, fried egg w onion, minced meat w mushrooms and mixed veg! huat x2.

most importantly...

i lost weight! juz 3 more kg to go! sm1's gotta buck up and gain some tho... hahaha...

lastly, to a better tmr...

zzz...

special request from our bae yong jun. this is YOUR karma toon! :)

2008-08-26T02:42:00.000-07:00

TURKEY.GREECE.DENMARK.

so, 19 days of good fun ended in a blast. i wud say we need more time in many places we visited, especially at mykonos, where our stay there ended w/o seeing da paradise beach resort or any scene tt resembles a party haven. wat we got from there, were these videos. lolz...

too many pics to show. perhaps next time. meantime, its a slap back to reality. if only its juz 5months of plain fun and no school. hai...

but there's always da term break to look forward to. muahaha... next stop: sweden.germany.france/croatia?! either way, im sure da company i have will make it a trip hard to forget. :)

2008-07-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

TRANSIT

finally back from a hellava internship. tiring and frustrating at times( thx to a bytch most of da time), but nevertheless enriching and satisfying.

n of cos, london was a blast. sydney aint tt bad either, but a combi of early nightfall, crowds from World Youth Day and sights close to our raffles place and city hall makes it less appealing. still, i wun be taking any credit off it, especially on their spectacular beaches, sumptuous steaks, gi-normous pies and super-chilled Aussie beers.

juz some pics to show from my 1,700+ pics. :)

arriving at Tower of London.

seeing is believing. the legendary Lloyd's of London.

the Lutine Bell.

the futuristic insides. matrix was filmed here!

learning the trade from Tom Brand, hull underwriter.

overlooking London.

St. Paul's Cathedral in sight!

erm... tink i gotta cut short my boasting. no time for aussie pics or more of london. haha... need to pack my luggage full w food and stuff. long day tmr. hopefully everythg goes fine and all fall in place. can nv seem to have everythg packed for the trip.

of cos, it can nv be w/o u packed for my trip. its July now, n all i can tink about is December. juz hope tt our dream will come true.

but till den, i'll keep on hoping. till den, i shall wait. waiting for our sweet reunion. for our tight embrace at the Gardemoen airport.

till den, wait for me, n as always, i'll run to u. :)

2008-05-23T03:58:00.000-07:00

EXCITING TIMES AHEAD

2-7 June: In-Camp Training at Khatib Camp (not exciting, just happen to fit into the timeline)
16-27 June: Internship at Lloyd's Asia (Singapore)
28 June - 11 July: Internship at Lloyd's Asia (London)
12-26 July: Internship at QBE (Sydney)
30 July - 6 Jan 2009: Exchange in Norway

finally, its all gonna happen. seems so long ago back den, when all the anticipation and hype began. and it oso shows how time flies. so many things to do right now, n so many goodbyes to say. while it is great times and experiences ahead, there are some things tt are juz too hard to leave behind. maybe tts why ppl stay in singapore even tho it can be a real shithole to live in.

but i guess youth is a bliss. things could have been harder. and im sure all those arnd mi will be happy for mi. rest assured, you will be missed. :)

2008-04-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

AWAKENING

was having my toilet break, reading notes at da same time, when i realised i ran out of rough papers for doing notes. then came the breakdown:

if 1 module has 13 lectures,
5 modules x 13 = 65 lectures to cover in 2 weeks.
consider 1 lecture takes 3 pieces of rough paper to summarise,
3 x 65 = 195 pieces of rough paper needed to cover my studies.

-_-"

save me oh Lord.

on a brighter note, King Kev's magic is back. the Magpies are on a roll. the Toon Army is playing free-scoring football. cant wait to visit SJP next season. somehow i feel i will be gg there more than i shud, even when it means missing out on the chance to visit one more country. :)

shiok onli......

2008-04-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

BREAK TIME

juz completed another set of notes. really need a break. tho i noe its onli 10pm but it feels like 1am mentally. cant wait for this time of the sem to end asap.

studying sux for many reasons:

having homework is a torture. there's no time for leisure. work is much better, u slog 9-6, den u have da rest of da day doing anythg u like.
exam period = 20hrs in own room, 3hrs for meals, 30min for showers, 30min or more on toilet bowl (half da time occupied with a set of notes in hand, surprisingly u somehow mng not to use da notes when u're done).
u appreciate music less. da same damn song keeps getting repeated, even when you have a total of 200++ songs in ur song list.
u grow fat.

beginning to forget how to kick a ball. how it feels to kick a ball. struggling to decide whether to go gym tmr again. somehow the more i work on my ACL the slower it recovers. really demoralizing at times. the sight of those bai-kar-bai-chew like me who can run on the mill gets really frustrating. how come this 30% difference in strength seems so hard to achieve?! tink i myt stand a better chance trying for a 1st class(yah right).

maybe i shudnt have used my bdae wish on my bro. he's plain hopeless. maybe i shud use it on my ACL instead.

or maybe, i shud juz keep doing my physio, hav a little faith and start remembering to talk to the Forgotten One.

2008-03-04T21:17:00.000-08:00

4/3/2008

the past 22 birthday wishes had always been for myself. dis time round, i wish tt my bro will be better off, in terms of career and attitude. its high time for him to change and to find a decent job. tho i may be complaining bout his incompetency all da time, it reallie hurts to see him like tt. even worse to see my parents doing nothing bout it.

juz 6 more weeks to exams. somehow dis sem seems harder den ever to concentrate.

reallie need to settle down wid my books.
reallie reallie hope traveling plans can be cast aside for now.
reallie reallie reallie hard to keep my mind off dis european fantasy...

oso, tho a bit late, some things to note for this year's CNY:

Mitsubishi Lancer rox. Scrap all Hyundei Matrix.
there's no looking back once u hit 180km/hr on msia highway. one word: shiok.
Kung Fu Dunk almost cost mi my RM880 winnings at Genting.
小赌怡情， know your limits dad. no1 plays 'In Between' da way u do. its plain stupid to whack 100bucks when you have a '2' and '7'.
its really hard to please every1... hai... its times like dis tt make mi dun wanna try anymore...
HH is back... to the old year1 sem1 him. scary. cant believe i was his roomie back den. lolz...
SG and M'sia should nv ban firecrackers. it takes the fun off CNY and makes gambling the only thing to do.
went to joel/joey's hse to visit their parents. had a first hand look of how quiet a hse will look when their sons/daughters are away. feels so... not right. maybe thats why all couples should have children. it makes a family complete. also had a first hand look on how cock i'll look on Skype in 6 months time. lolz...

hope dis 23rd bdae will be 1 tt i learn to be a superman. so many wants and desires, yet feeling so much drag to realise them...

2007-12-04T00:12:00.000-08:00

DRUGS TT MAKE MI HIGH/EMO

so, having 1 leg less ( or 2 'legs' more) is harder than i expected. been struggling with everything. from showering, changing, getting into a good position to sleep, to even sitting down.

missing being the king i was in AH. hahaha...

'er... 'cuse mi can i have a cup of hot milo?'

'er... 'cuse mi can i have my urinal containerS?'

'hi can u adjust my bed/my leg position?'

anywae, paul wy, mike, n mich came by to 'visit' today. thx guys. mj soon again! :)

was talking to my dad aft sending sy home. gg on dis op means having to eat lots of pills, some of which makes me high, some drowsy, n some, really really emotional.

i was joking, N I STRESS AGAIN, JOKING to dad bout how im nv gonna ditch sy after we went thru so much together. dad, as usual, began to preach life. but i muz admit dis 1 is really good stuff. haha...

he said tt if she's da right 1, why ditch her in da 1st place. told mi life's short, n really rare and difficult to find some1 who u can get along with and with good character. said tt he n my mum married for 30+ years oso cant see eye to eye most of da times. so muz really cherish r/s. then began telling mi he n mum's love story, really 感人 n 辛酸. almost put mi to tears. no fluke.

tok bout how life was really hard for them back den. yet they still managed to hold on and stay by each other's side, n of cos, brought up 3 hell-bringers. how dad came to sg from msia onli to be unemployed, n depended on mum's 5bucks from her 12bucks coffee shop labor, for a week' food, transport and little treats for my bro n sis. when he finally found work, he has to slog 3 shifts a day, sleeping onli 3hrs a day, juz to make ends meet and save up to buy a hse. really really 伟大.

seriously, we can complain all we want, but i tink our parents know it best when it comes to hardship.

really hope tt 好日子 is juz 5 sems away, as i told my dad.

n when tt day comes, i shall take over da responsibilities, while my dad juz need to take care of my dog n lecture my kids, n my mum juz need to cook n play mahjong. :)

2007-11-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

TIONG-I-FIED

u noe smthg's wrong when:

1. u choose books over running.
2. tt baggy berms seems to fit juz right.
3. u tune to 98.7fm n found tt u've heard da same song the 4th time tt day.

-_-"

17 more days to freedom.

17 more days to a much needed break.

19 more days to a fresh pair of legs.

smthg to make me look forward to end of exams at least:

'N-n-now th-that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger' :D

meantime ppl, towards our freedom we mug.

2007-10-08T19:30:00.000-07:00

GONE ARE THE HOLZ...

yet again, 2nd time in my life, im gonna go thru another op to make my aging body right. A right ACL reconstruction on 30th nov has been confirmed, and an agonizingly long therapy awaits.

so much so to a holiday that could have been all so fulfilling and enjoyable. so much so to laos again, or any internship that may come in my way. sometimes i wonder wat hav i done to deserve such fate.

during dinner bro commented that he can nv stand any1 cutting into his flesh.

so do i.

but as i've told some of u, losing soccer forever is da worst thing tt can ever happen to me (so far). do hope that my recovery will be a smooth n less tedious 1.

2007-09-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

I MISS... OH HOW I MISS...

as promised, the happenings of may- aug '07 to get all of u jealous. pardon if i havnt been bloggin', but loading 50plus pics onto blogspot aint easy task. anywae, 1st destination: holiday in msia/ sis' ipoh wedding. :)

on the coach to our 1st stop: genting highlands. on board: mi, mich, wang, cum, hh n guan.

great food,

n great company. :)

genting themepark, which choose not to operate its main rides while we were there. ..!..

still managed to relive da child in us tho. :)

pizza feast!!!

at genting bus terminal. nxt stop: ipoh to attend sis' wedding.

fooling arnd wid my cousins. haha...

smile for the camera~

the big entrance!!!

the toast.

the ultimate fighter. lolz...

visit to the lost world of tambun.

the second part of my holiday, was notting short of breathtaking. first stop in laos: vien tien.

beer lao, probably da best beer in laos.

visit to a lao's village, n a look into the past.

playing laos' national sports, pen-tuk.

novelton hotel, the onli 3 star hotel in laos.

laos ambassador of sg, or is it sg ambassador of laos?

the room of novelton's GM.

2nd stop: vang vien.

the ultimate camera whore.

the sg f4.

taking turns to act cool.

cant take it anymore. lolz...

the greeneries.

the simple fun.

whack ah~!!!

the freedom tts juz a ride away.

the few casualties suffered during da trip, thx to the hell-riding skills of mr. tan chin guan. special mention goes to mr. joel choy who managed to scare the living hell outtta mi w/o getting mi injured.

the most complete rainbow i've ever witnessed.

the gay pic.

the irish friends we made: warren and james.

inside one of vang vien's many many caves.

our friendly cave guide. :)

the padi field!

dinner's settled! :D

the break from tubing.

the chill-out restaurant.

the nuah-ing.

the pizza!

the 路边摊.

the lao massage tt's soooo good!!!

the river rafting.

the pit stop for lunch.

the lunch by mekong river.

the waters.

chill...

the color of laos.

n finally, the statement i've been making since coming back. GO LAOS. forget bout phuket, redang, whatever. its a place tt will question why da hell u nv ever consider it as a holiday.

cheers...

x2!!! :D

2007-08-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

HERE WE GO AGAIN

its been really long since i last blogged. wanted to save it to show pictures from all da fun i had during dis 3 mths. but wid all da promises and inspirations for dis semester( n like every other sem), here's one to get me going.

Shoot Down The Stars
Gym Class Heroes

'81 was the year shit hit the fan in a major way
I sat there for an inspiring artist
Almost 20 years after the fact I'm still on my hustle
Diggin' graves for an inspiring artist
Pushing daises up
And never compromise the arts and make a crowd clap
Shit on since the first show
But we turned feces to fertilizer
So when you diss it's just food for the flowers to grow
Sold 15 plus out of backpacks, no trunks
Too young to drive
But live hip hop
And the kids are upstate kids that thought rap was past tense, hence the last name
Got name for playing basements and such and making songs that our friends loved
And when the fish bowl got too small to hold the goldfish
We filled our gills with water and ripped that mother fucker like

So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now

So break ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
Shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it

This is what you wanted right?
How many nights were spent pouring out your guts dummy?
How many punishments endured for fucking up in school?
How many teachers proved wrong by writing songs instead?
My point exactly
But you knew you had a spark, did you?
Something producin' to the dreams your pop's dreams lent you
Stay focused when nothing seemed to make sense
Stealing verses with that cash's clay confidence
Sometimes you stubborn as shit, that's the McCoy in you
You learn to be a man without losing the boy in you
Just do your thing man

So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now

So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now

So break ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
Shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it

We break ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
We shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it

So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now

So break ourselves down
And build ourselves up in disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
Shake up this town
And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it

towards our dreams and goals we strive. :)

2007-07-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

01/07/07

:)

2007-06-21T04:52:00.000-07:00

HUMOR MI

wuz sulking n dragging my butt to sch for boring em106 lecture todae when i walked past a mercesdes. wanted to be amused den juz proceed to da bus stop, but juz cant help but to walk back, hav a proper laugh, n cause a few curious looks while giggling n taking da pics.

doesnt seem too wrong to mi at 1st, but i noticed a paper right on its bonnet. it says...

'park properly'. den on second look i come to realise the problem...i can fit a cow wid tt space.

conscience cleared, i was ready for school. :)

2007-06-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

TRULY ASIA

went to ipoh for 4 days to attend pong pong's wedding. tt bloody bugger, got married so early. now there's really no1 to bring me arnd to havoc when i go back. sianz... hope he has a happy marriage tho. :)

went quite a few places dis time round. spent a day at genting on da 1st day, dmg done: rm400. itchy hand. cockster. sianz... spent da nxt 2 days attending da wedding. gena 'sai gang' as a camaraman, but for a bro i cant really complain. lolz... realised getting married means alot of shit to be done, n marriage is nv juz bout da couple. seh~... da 4th day we went cameron highland. great place to chill out and lay back. n got to see 1st hand tt there's always some1 richer that da other. haha...

other highlights include drinking crazy amount of alcohol, watching uncles and aunties and dad getting drunk, non-stop eating, cruising at 140km/h on a toyota altis, beating personal best of 160km/h, n almost ran out of gas cos i missed da rest point. haha...

mr n mrs pong pong.
at da mountain shoulder of cameron. uncle showing his assets while finding his battery tank cap.
'and all that I can see is just another lemon-tree...'
a cute little sparrow.
these,
these...
n all of these, including da hill im standing on, belongs to a fren of my uncle. filthy rich. sick.

2007-06-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

100

yep dis post will be da 100th! and more den fitting to dedicate dis post to every1 in cartoon kingdom! haha...

so, da cartoon camp finally drew to a close ytd aft a 'grueling' week. having 350 kids to look aft everyday aint laughing matter. but at da end of da day, it is notting short of fulfillment n fun. water fights, cartoon drawing, slave auctioning, games, morning n aftnn tea breaks, working wid other councilors, anticipating da day while on da way to kebun baru cc, trying hard to get da kids to give u attention, to even handling crying kids cos they lost their water bottles or crying for no reason etc. will be badly missed. best part time job ever. got to relived my childhood for a week. :D

missing all my kids, Daniel and Cheryl esp. missed them following mi whereever i go, watever i do, n bugging mi. da onli way to make them sit still wuz to sit wid them. n for all u noe u'll find them sitting on ur lap rather den their own chairs doing their drawings. haha... other kids that brightened my experience include ever active emma, hazel who keep asking for cartoon kingdom money, rachal who's ever so sweet, cute little joe, future artist-to-be daniel, nigel who drew a 'handsome francis' 20years ago, siblings marjorie and matthew and many many more. regret not taking pictures wid them. hai...

though da week grew to become reallie tiring, but da smiles on da kids' faces made it all worthwhile.

praying for another chance to work in such camp again. :)

2007-05-27T23:05:00.000-07:00

THOUGHTS

some temptations are juz too hard to resist. feeling ashamed, but at da same time feel tt its ok so long i noe da limits. but still, da promise is broken. loser.

went for bike rally todae. freaking shack. 138km arnd sg. doesnt help when i din get any slp from da day b4. reached back hall at 330am n left for east coast at 4am. seh kar... but dbl 0 wuz real fun wid cheap drinks and cock frens. buahaha!!! anywae, we onli managed to complete bout 100km of da whole journey cos all of our butt can take it no more. walking funny and burning lyk crazy now.

rushed down to orchard presbyterian church to attend sis' baptism aft bike rally. really feel happy for her. dad n mum din come along. apparently not supporting sis' baptism, asking her tense questions like if she will burn incense for them when they pass away.

prayed that she can enjoy a happy marriage. as usual dosed off during da sermons. feeling kinda worried. somehow i dun feel Him. maybe i juz need to go more church. but somehow there's always thoughts at da back of my head questioning my belief and faith.

kinda disturbed by dad and mum reaction. im not siding who's right or wrong, but i do rem da bible teaches us to obey our parents. hai... really not in da mood to tink bout my faith right now. maybe im really not ready. but i noe there's nv a right time for such things. n i shudnt be avoiding it. but still, ill pray.

really need to slp. nite ppl. :)

2007-05-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

GIRL POWER

if you havnt seen da video for dis song, u'll nv realise she's THAT hot. :)

4 In The Morning
Gwen Stefani

Wakin' up to find another day

The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it’s say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts
when I think,
when I let it sink in
It’s all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
Watchin you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less 'cause you know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don’t wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down

It’s not fair, how you are
I can’t be complete, can you give me more

And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less 'cause you know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love for me
We can’t escape the love
Give me everything that you have

And all I know is you’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less 'cause you know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up till four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come on do it right

oh gwen baby, if no1 loves you, i will. hahaha...

n yes, luv is all bout give AND take, not juz give and give and give......

2007-05-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

DRAINED LIFE

tuition is reallie draining my life away. maybe paul is rite, that if it becomes a chore, maybe its bout time to call it a day.

anywae, ran out of assessment for mr wilkie todae, so took out his assessment book n 'modified' some questions by changing da numbers here and there. eventually got too bored so changed smthg else: names. alot of names came up my mind, so juz went wid da flow. used my name oso. lolz... says alot bout how fun tuition is aint it?

during dis time, some names tt qualify as 'thou shalt not be named' came up. went on to used them nevertheless. whatever da case, hope u ppl are living well, esp. 'you', 'u', and 'U'.

watched a hongkong movie ytd b4 i went to slp. tot of 'U' den. wuz wondering bout da big question still. wat if things have gone differently? tho 'U' were da 1 hu hurt mi most, i cant help but to wonder tt if i can ever find sm1 as perfect as 'U' may seem. hai... loneliness kicking in... haha... ... wats wid dis 'haha...' anywae. tink im kinda losing it. help.

feeling reallie old as well. almost fainted aft doing gym todae. instead of blackout, it struck mi as my whole world gg white. forgot hu my father mother wuz tt moment. went on to relax in da pool till 12plus. freaking hot. whole body burning now... aft tt went fer tuition for mr eugene ho.( yes my kid has da same name as our eugene ho, maybe tts why im having so much shit from him.) n for ppl hu hav an issue wid my english, wait till u hav a taste of his. i swear u'll cry fer ur mama. den mr wilkie. den home.

tink i need more activities to keep mi from wandering unneccesary stuff. but i luv dis time of my life tho. beats draining my life on books in hall.

maybe all i need is a long-due holiday getaway.

or maybe...

i juz need money?

a life perspective?

a new target?

God.

2007-05-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

HOLIDAY

i juz wan my well-deserved break. juz things as i wan it to be. so, no unnecessary shits pls... in no mood for tolerance.

been doing wat i'd always been telling myself to do after exams:

1. nuah lyk there's no tmr.
2. stay in my black hole, where time is no longer da essence.
3. stay at home, watch tv, cook my myojo mee for supper.
4. slp wid notting to wake up to.
5. gym sessions.
6. physio for my leg.
7. club. ( hopefully tonite n friday for sure.)
8. watch serialS.
9. eat meals at home w/o needing to rush out immediately after tt.

n yes all of da above make mi a happy man. :)

simple things lyk tt are always missed during sch term. even my family is commenting how weird it is to see mi so nuah. how i wish things can stay dis way.

n reallie, sometimes u wonder hu reallie noes u best. juz when u tot u knew.

so, bwta, now tt we are so damn free, how bout getting da ball rolling?

to Nobel peace prize, da remaining 998.65million, n world domination. HUAT ah!!!

2007-04-28T03:03:00.001-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2007-04-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

TWO

finally, wats left is juz a final hurdle ahead. hope i dun da bao or do too badly fer it. *cross finger*

realise i nv get to enjoy holz wid 2 gd legs. shall start on physio immediately aft mari tech. hai... reallie hope i can play soccer again.

found dis reallie nice song. :)

Half The World Away
Oasis

I would like to leave this city
This old town don't smell too pretty and
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind
And when I leave this island I'll book myself into a soul asylum
Cos I can feel the warning signs running around my mind

So here I go, I'm still scratching around the same old hole
My body feels young but my mind is very old
So what do you say?
You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway
You're half the world away
Half the world away
Half the world away
I've been lost, I've been found but I don't feel down

And when I leave this planet
You know I'd stay but I just can't stand it and
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind
And if I could leave this spirit I'd find me a hole and I'll live in it 'cos
I can feel the warning signs running around my mind

So here I go still scratching around in the same old hole
My body feels young but my mind is very old
So what do you say?
You can give me the dreams that are mine anyway
You're half the world away
Half the world away
Half the world away
I've been lost, I've been found but I don't feel down
No I don't feel down
No I don't feel down

I don't feel down
I don't feel down
I don't feel down
I don't feel down

before we noe, its gonna be over so soon. i muz say i feel contented wid my effort. looking forward to a reallie nuah break.

btw, wru?

now, back to studies.

2007-04-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

ONE TO MUG WITH

Jesus the Same

There's a light in the darkness that shines
Giving hope to all the world
Hope to all the world
And there's a door that's been opened to all
Into a new and living way
A new and living way

Praise the name of Jesus
Perfect Redeemer, Star of the Morning
Yesterday, today and forever
Jesus the Same...

There's a fire that burns in our hearts
To see the lost return
To the Father
And it's a passion that's not of our own
We have seen it in the Son
In the face of the Son

Wonderful Counsillor
Mighty God, Eternal Father
Prince of Peace

2007-03-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

HUAT

Saturday
24 Mar 07

Draw No: 2519

1st Prize

6495

2nd Prize

9570

3rd Prize

3289

Starter Prizes
0512	0814
1078	3158
3246	3327
4987	6356
7590	9879

Consolation Prizes
0119	2916
2917	5495
7626	7921
8286	8417
8761	9621

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA..........................

:D

2007-03-24T01:15:00.000-07:00

REMINDER

dis is a post to remind mi of a promise.

a promise. an agreement tt's hard to keep. haha... but dis time, its for gd. too much at stake. cant bear to lose it anymore.

24more days to exams. while dis sem is so much harder den da last, i reallie cant put myself to worry tt much at times. gg thru a transition. n lyk i said, we got 4 damn years to screw it up, its juz a matter of time. nevertheless, will try my best.

i realised we reallie tend to tink less when we are busy. looking at past posts before sch even started, i dunno where da hell i can afford to tink so much. but den again, those thoughts werent unnecessary. in fact they are questions we may take our whole life to pursue and figure out.

maybe wat some ppl tink is rite. but still... diff. perspective lah...

i hope im gg at da rite direction.

2007-03-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

05/03/07

juz a wanna say a big thank you to all those hu've made da extra effort in making my day special.

to all da pingpong frens: thank you. n to be frank u guys are da reason im still playing.

to b.o.b. (or in anywae related, afilliated to it, either cos u were once in it or a half-hearted member or a loyalist.... ah fuck u noe hu im tokking bout haha...): thank you all fer making da effort to rem. rod u cud hav done better but yeah its more den enuff lolz... thanks toon n cum n wang fer da ben & jerry's. hh n paul n toon again fer being there fer da cake. js n jh fer always been there n da bdae wishes. :)

to sjippfc: onli 4 of u rem. lolz... but its gd enuff. massage soon!!! buahaha!!!

to many others eg. melissa, michelle, natalie, xiangyang, ah mun, huiyang, yongjin, nick kong, ms coursemates etc.: thanks fer da wishes again!

to my family: luv u guys. :) thanks fer ang bao n da treat! jack's special tenderloin fillet is awesome!!! dead sinful tho hahaha...

a day marked wid cake, crystal jade, jack's place and b & j. cudnt ask fer more. thank you all!!!

lastly, reallie, thank God fer all n all.

2007-03-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

a new fav. worst lyrics, but i assure u'll find urself jumping to da beat in phuture. :)

I Wanna Fuck You

[Akon:] Convict...Music...and you know we a front.

[Chorus (Akon):]
I see you winding and grinding up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know
I wanna fuck you, you already know

[Snoop Dogg:]
Money in the air as mo feel grab you by your coat tail take you to the motel, hoe sale,
don't tell, won't tell, baby said I don't talk Dogg but she told on me, oh well,
take a picture with me, what the flick gon' do, baby stick to me & ima stick on you,
if you pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and I'm here to put this dick on you,
I'm stuck on pussy and yours is right, wrip riding them poles and them doors is tight
and ima get me a shot for the end of the night 'cause pussy is pussy and baby you're pussy for life.

[Chorus (Akon)]

[Akon:]
Shorty I can see you ain't lonely handful of niggas and they all got cheese,
so you looking at me now what's it gonna be just another tease far as I can see,
trying get you up out this club if it means spendin' a couple dubs,
throwing bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that cause I'm far from a scrub,
you know my pedigree, ex-deala use to move phetamines,
girl I spend money like it don't mean nothing and besides I got a thing for you.

[Chorus (Akon)]

[Snoop Dogg:]
Mobbin' through club in low pressing I'm sitting in the back in the smokers section (just smoking),
birds eye, I got a clear view, you cant see me but I can see you (baby I see you),
it's cool we jet the mood is set,
your pussy is wet you rubbing your back and touching your neck,
your body is movin' you humpin' and jumpin' your titties is bouncin' you smilin' and grinin' and looking at me.

[Akon:]
Girl and while you're looking at me I'm ready to hit the caddy right up on the patio move the patty to the caddy,
baby you got a phatty the type I like to marry wanting to just give you everything and that's kinda scary,
cause I'm loving the way you shake your ass, bouncin', got me tippin' my glass,
Normally don't get caught up to fast but I got a thing for you.

[Chorus (Akon) x2]

2007-02-21T00:58:00.000-08:00

DOWN

dying fer a fag. any1?

gone fuck.

2007-02-20T06:32:00.000-08:00

BAH KAR

i noe its cny but there's reallie so much to bitch about. ok maybe tts juz MY cny. hopefully urs is not as BUANG as mine. -_-"

Buang no. 1: BUANG fer da 1st time in my life. dozed off while enduring a 2hrs long jam in KL.
Buang no. 2: ivan did a monster kill todae. triple 7 on blackjack. dmg done on mi: 28bucks.
Buang no. 3: ntuc is having an offer! managed to get my $5.04 moisturiser fer ONLI $5! smlj...
Buang no. 4: nv do any tut and im bloggin' now.
Buang no. 5: gained 2kg in da space of 4 days.
Buang no. 6: ...too glam to hold on to. - mrs loh.

perhaps da onli consolation is tt i hav cute cousins n frens. special mention to bz, terry, kailun n YONGJIE. buahaha!

maybe mrs loh is rite. but pain sia da way she put it. ouch man. damn sad. if tts da case, it shud nv had happened in da 1st place. hai...

reallie time to settle down. shall switch to mug-mode officially on da 26th.

'too glam to hold on to.'

true. n im too damn nice to be a bf.

enuff of mi. wishing all 猪事顺利 in dis new year. HUAT ah!

2007-02-14T11:20:00.000-08:00

BLAST FROM THE PAST

a bitter-sweet classic.

阿牛和阿花的故事

路边有一朵花花边长着一粒瓜

瓜边蹲着阿牛阿牛等着他的阿花

阿花告诉那阿牛说

她要到那遥远的地方去寻找她的理想

她的梦和不一样的日子她要到远方去生活

阿牛呆呆看着阿花半天说不出一句话

他唯有无奈的摘下身边那朵花送给他的阿花

然后说希望这朵花能够伴你找到你的梦和你的理想

还交代阿花记得写信给他

啊................

阿花的信一次比一次短

阿牛等信的日子却一次比一次长

直到有一天直到有一天直到有一天

有人告诉那阿牛说

你的阿花已经嫁给别人当老婆

她永远不会回来故乡

你不必再等她她不会回来了啦

(福建)伊已经找到别个人嫁给有钱人

忘记故乡的人

你何必再等她她永远不会回来了啦

(福建)难道要等伊一世人等伊一世人?

路边已经开满花花边也长满了瓜

瓜边依然蹲着阿牛阿牛依然等着他的阿花

可是花儿开了又谢瓜儿长了又采

阿牛的阿花始终没回来

happy v day every1. :)

2007-01-27T22:26:00.000-08:00

RUN (-ING AWAY)

no mood fer anythg nowadays...

anythg worth mentioning on da blog is probably lunch wid family at jack's place. a lobster soup, RARE t-bone steak and a banana split nv fail to satisfy da animal in mi. hav i told u bout blood? its sweet. muahaha...!!!

anywae, heard dis song on my sis' lappy. too gd a song to not worth a place in my blog.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

gonna miss my simple nokia 7280. bout da time to move into da 3G world. its a choice between w850i n ultra ed. 12.9. hu shall prevail?

2007-01-25T23:44:00.000-08:00

24/01/07

tink i lost it in every sense...

sry if any1 of u felt offended by da way i choose to blog, n to tell u guys da truth im pretty disappointed by wat u've said. but its ok. u guys are right. guess i shud hav been more responsible and respectful, esp on such sensitive issue. its juz plain insulting to those hu are reallie into it.

but is it wrong to be running away?

i mean, is it wrong tt we shun ourselves from issues tt require much deliberation? is it wrong to juz indulge in da upside of life? probably. some myt even say cowards are sinners.

den let mi be 1.

cos i juz wanna be happy.

2007-01-14T01:34:00.000-08:00

NEW FOUND LOVE

The Dolphin's Cry
Live

The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothin' left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe so that I
So we can go together!

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Life is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
We are lost 'til we are found
This phoenix rises up from the ground
And all these wars are over

Over
Over
Singin' la da da, da da da
Over
Come to me
Singin' la da da da, da da da
Come to me

2007-01-12T01:06:00.000-08:00

TEAM

as of dictionary.com...

team :

-noun

1.	a number of persons forming one of the sides in a game or contest: a football team.

2.	a number of persons associated in some joint action: a team of advisers.

3.	two or more horses, oxen, or other animals harnessed together to draw a vehicle, plow, or the like.

4.	one or more draft animals together with the harness and vehicle drawn.

5.	a family of young animals, esp. ducks or pigs.

6.	Obsolete. offspring or progeny; race or lineage.

-verb (used with object)

7.	to join together in a team.

8.	Chiefly Northern U.S. Older Use. to convey or transport by means of a team; haul.

-verb (used without object)

9.	to drive a team.

10.	to gather or join in a team, a band, or a cooperative effort (usually fol. by up, together, etc.).

-adjective

11.	of, pertaining to, or performed by a team: a team sport; team effort.

it takes 10 definitions to get da 1 tt is near to mine. i wonder how many are feeling da same. if not, smthg is reallie wrong.

amen.

2007-01-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

MASSAGES. TOM YUMS. 7-ELEVENS. BIRKS. PART 2

some other interesting stuff/finds in bangkok :

1. dad tried a bull-penis soup. din finish it of cos. fear factor lau family edition.
2. my english std reached an all time low. thai english is extremely contageous.
3. most thai ppl speaks teochew. doesnt say alot bout a teochew lyk mi.
4. dad/mum are getting old. old ppl argues over da most trivial matters.
5. had a bowl of tom yum soup everydae. n wat goes in comes out from mi.
6. beware of some thai taxis. they overcharge and dun ask them fer places to eat or shop. had a tom yum, pineapple rice, 3 beers. damages done : 1060baht. wtf.
7. thai gals are reallie pretty. but u hav problem differentiating them from ladyboys.
8. murphy's law applies in bangkok. juz when u tot u got da best price, there's always a lower 1.
9. thai airasia sux to da core. but their air stewardess are a plus. :)
10. a shopping session a day keeps ur troubles away.

juz wanna congratulate hall 6 on winning da ih. sry to miss da matches. but gd job no matter wat! now, to ivp.

tuitions are picking up. im worried. maybe im too ambitious, but i guess i need to recoup some damages done in bangkok. n k.i.v. another trip ltr dis year? buahaha...

somehow dis 4days/5nights in bangkok seems lyk a dream. too gd to be true.

need to tune back to studies. God help.

amen.

2007-01-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

MASSAGES. TOM YUMS. 7-ELEVENS. BIRKS. PART 1

for da 1st time in my life, i managed to shop till i drop.

bangkok is definitely da shopping paradise for all. visited da reknown chatuchak weekend mkt and mbk centre. hav to say tt mbk is not as gd as it seems, mainly due to its pricing and predictable items fer sale. chatuchak on da other hand, is 1 hellava shopping maze. managed to clinch some 10 odd tees fer myself, n an excessive no. of undersized birkenstoks. special mention goes to underated places such as pratunam and suan lum night mkt, wid da former selling at prices way lower den any places in bangkok. suan lum, tho, sells at outrageous prices, but if u noe da mkt price, bargaining shud get da vendors back on their grounds. say a 700baht wallet, u gotta try fer a 200baht-price tag. n even if u get it, chances are u can get da same wallet at 50baht at pratunam. da onli thing tt piss mi off at pratunam is their city complex, which has 80% of its shops selling gal stuff. dulan is da word.

managed to have quite a bit of massages dis time round. 2 foot and 1 full body, at a price of 200baht/hr and 400baht/2hrs respectively. hav to say tt its not as gd as da 1 i had at hadyai, n its much cheaper at 200baht/2hrs. but still, quite shiok. haha... n oh, had 1 of my foot massage by a ladyboy aka ah kuah aka bahbok aka tranny. scary.

used to dislike da idea of a ladyboy and will simply freak out at 1. but after i read an article during my stay, i believe i can gradually come to term wid da idea. as da article states, call them watever we wan, but they are still as human as we are. we can classify them as a 3rd sex, but da bottom line is they are still human. while thailand may be famed fer them, they are still very much shun by da public. thailand may juz be a safer place fer them to live in, tts all. but of cos, some may argue they are working against da work of god. personal perspective, once again.

so much to blog about. shall leave it fer da nxt post. but lyk to thank those hu have been praying fer my safe return. haha... n thank God.

now, back to reality.

amen.

2007-01-02T22:44:00.001-08:00

RAINBOW = HOPE

a new look for a new year. :)

last year wuz great. hope dis year wud be an even better 1.

da past few days have been reallie hectic. steamboat, steamboat, more steamboat! n bbq as well. super unhealthy. haha... all da gatherings were notting short of fun. in da end, managed to get a topman voucher and adidas tee. thx ppl! n on 01/01/07 0000hrs i realised da disparity between 3D n 2D. breathtaking fireworks at marina. thx joel n joey!

wuz taking da mrt ytd when i overheard a kid complaining to his mum and pointing to da sky. looking for a rainbow i presume. tts when i realised its been reallie long since i look into da sky in search of a rainbow. wat in da world are we tinking? refusing to slow down our steps and take time out to witness simple beauty arnd us?

but den it struck mi : cos we are kids no more. we hav 'better' things to attend to. we need to pay our bills, worry bout GST, hu to vote for etc. tts da so-call responsibilities. hmmm...

oh, my bangkok trip on 5th jan is put on hold. apparantly if we postpone our tix they'll charge us 100-200bucks for 'admin' fees. n they can comment tt da 'situation is safe already, no worries'. tts budget airline fer u. so my friends, if i do go, pls pray for my safe return. drop mi a msg. if i dun reply, panic n call mi. if i dun pick up, get to da ambassy.

anywae, i managed to spot my rainbow tt day. hope u can slow down n spot urs in dis brand new year. :)

thank God, for everythg, including bad movies eg. nacho libre, borat etc.

amen.

2006-12-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

HAI...

dis post is specially dedicated to a fren ive known for long.

i dunno wats gg thru ur mind. dunno wat u tink bout mi. but im reallie shack le. maybe cos i din say much. maybe ive been acting rather selfish recently, but da fact tt u keep giving mi half-hearted answers aint gonna help dis frenship. sometimes i dunno if its u or mi. or juz both of us. but i feel if we go on lyk dis da frenship is gg down da drain. sad but true.

if u r not happy wid mi or anythg, juz say it out. dun keep it to urself and say '随便你' or 'up to u'. it feels lyk our frenship is worth dis few words. dun tell mi 'but it is true wat'. u noe wat kinda person i am. if u dun wanna tok bout it, i wun either. its damn shack to do da guessing game. we are guys. not pussies. juz be frank.

i reallie reallie shack le. feeling da way we treating dis issue extremely pussy. is it juz ur personal problem tt u din wan to share or juz problem wid mi? when u feel lyk tokking, den tok to mi. dun wan to gena any unneccesary splash dmg.

dun get mi wrong. im not blaming u. im juz disappointed at how immature our frenship seems to be. do tell mi tt im wrong.

2006-12-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

TO AN OLD FREN

some things are juz not meant to be held ceteris paribus.

effort muz be made. else even da least suspecting will change its taste. sry i din make tt effort. sry tt both of us din make tt effort.

anywae, managed to catch dis song on mtv. find dis song so-so b4 i saw da mtv. but scores a 8/10 from mi aft tt. 7.9/8 of it goes to hebe. :)

退后

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

2006-12-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

RECAP OF ROAD TRIP : A PICTIONARY

aft a 4-hrs long drive on our hyundai trajet, finally reached da shoulder of da genting highlands. :)

mi styling up, while mr tan da useless kio da bed on da instance we checked in to our room. both of us ended up slping on da floor fer da nxt 2 nites. lolz...

PIZZA FEAST!!! supreme hawaiian stuffed-crust pizza cost us rm22. muahaha!!!

a first world full moon view.

thx to my dad's recommendation, we came to a place called 'mushroom hut'. food is cheap and service is great. ended up having our meals there for da remaining of our stay.

no im not acting cool. wuz chewing on my ice-cream. haha...

high-risk manoeuvre on da rd. do try dis if u have da chance.

ahem...

retribution...

pic taken on our last nite out. shioking-cold.

hellish condition to drive. but we came thru.

a tribute to da warhorse. n of cos...

to da photo-whores. cheers bros!!! :)

2006-12-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

HMMM... INTERESTING...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2006-12-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

ONE 'LAST' VICE

same old place, same old music, same old faces, and of cos, same old company.

tho da nite came to a premature end, i hope every1 had their fair share of fun(i hope). definitely had mine. if onli all of us are working now, den we can most probably do dis every wed. hahaha...

somehow a feeling came gushing towards mi last nite... but i tink its juz a feeling... smthg wanting mi to attend to, tt i hav long neglected.

n finally watched newcastle match aft exam. great showing of character last nite... tho no result gained. still proud tt my team put up a decent fight. but still kick da fat freddy out of da board. prick.

training ltr. a reality waiting to come true. no pt running from it. n seriously, i dun f care wat hh told mi bout wat ppl said. lost all passion fer it. if not lost all passion in mi, except soccer and money i guess. lolz... juz a matter of time, when i call it a day.

help mi to control. help mi to be disciplined. help mi to cherish. help mi to let go.

amen.

2006-12-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

HAPS

finally stayed at home for a nite... shall juz rest at home for da match ltr... probably get some hoegaarden from ntuc for da game. :) life! shiok! wahaha...

juz heard tt training will commence tmr. sianz... somehow juz not in da mood for tt now. maybe i juz wan to hav da freedom to decide on how to spend my time as i wan it. sux man...

anywae played soccer todae. got injured slightly again. best part was i went back hall to get my shoes, onli to realise i onli brought ONE shoe to sp! wtf sia... end up driving back to hall n get da other one... cow...

somehow da idea of school starting again is terrifying. endless tutorials, trainings, tuitions, canteen food, etc. yucks... hai... juz wan time for myself seriously. not lyk im not having them but i juz wan more control. why got trainings......

n yes. home is definitely better den hall life. even tho im not having my own room or even computer at home, its juz comfy. its reallie da ppl inside a home tt matters. feeling fortunate. thank God.

tink i'll try to quit fags for good. tink studying reallie can settle some1 down... hahaha... shall TRY to be a gd student from now on... buahaha...

xmas is near. a new look is coming up. :)

went to sis' condo ytd. great place, great view! but even better wuz da 2-storey penthouse tt da condo offers. yup decided tt it will be my target n 憧憬 for da future... shall work hard fer my $30k/mth... hehe...

for all da gd things, and bad things, i thank you Lord.

amen.

2006-12-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

ROAD TRIP TO GENTING

how come time passes by so quickly when u are enjoying da most? if onli studying is so easy to bear...

great time, great company, n definitely great fun. aft all da shits to take from a first semester, da short trip definitely helped mi to unwind. photos to be up soon.

from da journey back and fro genting highlands (not to mention da rm50 we had to pay to write off our speeding tix), cheap food, killing spree in da casino (for mi onli i guess... lolz), massageS, to juz simply enjoying da cold wind n chilling outside starbucks, i love every minute of it. sometimes i reallie feel tt its da coy tt counts. definitely unable to enjoy as much as wid ppl i noe less... n i reallie wonder how some ppl can seem to enjoy moments wid acquaintances more den frens whom u noe much longer. guess its a matter of perspective.

tok alot about stuff. school, friends, army, love life, past, present, craps. surprisingly there's notting bout da future. realised all of us havnt changed much. still laughing at lame jokes which onli we understand. haha...

n btw, things look different when u are driving at 160km/hr. lolz... crave for speed.

fer all dis, i thank God. for da fun, and safety of us all of cos...

amen.

2006-12-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

LIFE

finally, able to take a step back n relax.

soccered on fri and todae... and mahjong ltr!!! not to mention how fucking wasted i got last nite... omg so so so pai say... but den again... 2 best frens' bdae and tonnes of alcohol as ammunition lead to a road to self-destruction... hai... is it possible to change course now?!?! 没脸见人...

seriously, its scary how alcohol can make u forget things tt u do... n of course how un-glam it makes u(when u start puking). oh well, lesson learnt. martell + vodka + cordeau + white wine + medicine + empty stomach = poison.

realised how long its been since i reallie rested at home... simple things lyk walking arnd and stoning in da living room, watching tv till 3am, showering at home (forgot which wuz my toothbrush...), waking up at 2pm etc. its amazing wat exams can do to u... SEVEN times more!

...

fuck lah totally cant get last nite off my mind... nv expected such poor showing from mi man... why?!?!?! seh...

ok even tho not many ppl can see dis, but juz wanna say reallie sry fer last nite... pls do not tink less of mi... im still mi... gimme another chance to prove my worth... LOLZ... kidding...

thank God fer time, cant imagine if time can stop. den ill hav exams and pukes forever.

amen.

2006-11-25T11:32:00.000-08:00

2 MORE DAYS

its near. almost there. finally, a glimpse of light at da end of tunnel.

its true. sometimes looking at ppl's msn display nicks and blogs, u realise how much pain they are gg thru. but come to tink of it, most of us are feeling pain fer da wrong reasons. exams, studies, work, luv life, etc. maybe we shud all focus on wats impt : the present.

n of cos, wat we tend to overlook in life : family and friends.

hmmm... i believe happiness is a matter of perception. if u wan to believe tt u are happy, den u are. at least putting smileys on my msn nick does help. lolz... maybe some of u can try. kinda cheating on yourself but hey, there's too much to whine about, but at da same time, there's so much to rejoyce about. its hard to remain optimistic, even harder fer mi considering tt im a pessimist by nature, but at least i'll give it a try. no pt. sulking our whole life.

for dis, i dedicate dis post to You. and i pray fer Your guidance and light for all. Thank You for all that You have given mi, us, all.

amen.

...

mike juz reminded mi last nite tt im gg to go thru dis exam crap fer another SEVEN times.

hmmm...

juz a matter of perception.

a matter of perception.

matter of perception...

seh lah... SEVEN!!! kao~~~

2006-11-19T00:57:00.000-08:00

PSYCHED

我
们
是
最
强
的
!

but i gotta say studying accounting makes mi feel bloody vulnerable...

amen.

2006-11-06T12:56:00.000-08:00

RANDOM ENTRY

how long more do i hav to mug my socks off? running outta steam, morale and motivation. wat am i fighting for?

no i dun miss u, but do u still rem. a theme song we used to share?

cant wait fer exams to end. ends thoeoratically on 1st dec but effectively 27th nov. haha...

wtf am i thinking? are exams reallie more impt den spending time wid family? how can i feel tt having a meal wid family is a 'waste of time'? god help mi wake up my idea.

'...and there's no mountain too high no river too wide
sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
but i love you until the end of time...'

things to do aft exams:
1. sleep.
2. soccer.
3. windsurfing camp.
4. clean up my room.
5. shopping at ikea.

say watever u wan, its juz a matter of perception. i noe if i dun do wat ive decided on, both of us will be unhappy.

continue wid wat to do aft exams:

6. shopping for shoes/clothes.
7. watch movieS.
8. basketball.
9. gym.
10. road trip to msia.

cant get much passion into things i do no more.

somehow exam period is da best period i had since gg to uni, n i tink cos i can finally kick a bit aft so long.

'...listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
telling me to give you everything
seasons may change winter to spring
but i love you until the end of time...'

re-continue wid wat to do aft exams:

11. soccer.
12. sOcCeR.
13. SoCcEr.
14. football aka soccer.
15. SOCCER..................

u all say watever u wan, i cant be bothered. perhaps da valuable lesson army reallie taught mi wuz tt i can nv pls every1 arnd me.

time to bring back my boots.

...

time to get back to my books.

10 more days to commencement of exams.

22 days away from my own fun world.

now, back to muggin' island.

'...come what may
i will love you until my dying day...'

amen.

2006-10-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

Every Little Thing
Dishwalla

Let me in
To see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come
I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
Will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
Every little thing you wanted
All the time
I wish I could be
Every little thing you wanted
All the time
Some times

Lift me up
Just lift me up don't make a sound
And let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
See all come
You say your all right
But I get the strangest feeling
That you've gone away - you've gone away
And will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
Every little thing you wanted
All the time
I wish I could be
Every little thing you wanted
All the time
Some times

Don't give me up
Don't give me up tonight
Or soon nothing will be right at all
Salvation
Will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
Every little thing you wanted

2006-10-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

SMLJ...

ok tts it. before exam ends, im not gonna watch any newcastle game anymore.

cant stand another 'mudpie' heartache each time i watch them. its bad for my mood to study, esp so at dis critical period.

u noe da hope of searching for motivation b4 u watch a game, aft all da shits u endured during da week and da idea of getting into such shits again aft ur precious weekend? well aft u watch juz how newcastle is currently playing, any hint of motivation remaining will be drained.

as quoted by soccernet, 'Newcastle were in complete disarray, disorganised at the back, ineffectual in midfield and toothless in attack.'

pls. u dun bloody cross da ball w/o shearer in da box. slowla ameobi is useless n obafarkme martins is too damn short.

n defender titty bramble proved juz how great a player he is in attack once again, setting up chances for opposition time and time again. nv fail to entertain u moron. tokking bout smthg out of notting u piece of shit.

perhaps many geordies are feeling da same, n its backed by da fact tt 'a crowd of just 48,145 watched the game, only the second time fewer than 50,000 have attended a league match at St James' Park since it was extended.'

no style. no flair. no teamwork. no cutting edge. no fighting spirit. no passion. no notting.

juz wtf they doing?!?!

hai... back to work.

2006-10-09T02:24:00.000-07:00

SLIGHTLY MORE DEN A MTH

火药味十足。

guess its time to declare war on my books. in short, hibernation begins, zero time to waste. n juz to make mi feel better n stay positive:

我是最强的!!!

I WILL DELIVER!!!

n btw, i juz got retrenched effectively todae. psle ends tmr...

now i noe wat will reallie make mi a happier man.

$$$ , soccer, n results.

...

save da results if i can get loads of $$$ w/o studying. muahaha!!!

pray fer good health of all ppl arnd mi. realised, i mean, remembered tt health n family are wat reallie matter.

amen.

2006-10-07T00:25:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY

迷蒙的夜晚。

迷蒙的天空。

迷蒙的心情。

迷蒙的前景。

2006-10-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

WTF

evaluation of crumpler bags :

the dreadful embarassment,at da price of $167 is a bargain worth considering if u r looking to keep ur clothes, shoes, basketball, blown-up shag dolls, pc, fridge, godzilla etc. etc. inside. however, the hippy colours on offer aint tt hippy on actual display n its far too big for schooling purpose.

on the other hand, the complete seed, seems extremely fitting and compact. one wud be proud to actually own 1. but considering its size and a $159 price tag, as compared to wat dreadful embarassment offers, a big big turn off. da fact tt most of da ppl arnd u are proud owners of it does help either.

finally, the hee-goer, is a perfect choice for a lappy bag. the many compartments are well-designed and convenient, but if u own no bloody lappy, those compartments are juz paddings taking up otherwise useful space. as usual, crumpler does itself no damn favor by pricing it at $199.

conclusion :

im juz cheapo.

in da end, settled for a khaki sling bag from project shop. but hey its notting cheap man. freaking 88bucks.

realised tt u can actually define a person's character by da way he shops. fer mi, i dunno wtf i wan. wat i tink is different from wat i wan. im juz plain screwed wid my emotions and thoughts.

n oh, nydc's grandma goes nuts doesnt taste as sweet as compared as wat i tasted 3yrs ago.

i wonder why.

maybe its wrong to tink tt its sweet in da 1st place.

now, reallie need to study.

amen.

2006-09-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

HAPPY

MY SIS HAD WILLINGLY SPONSORED 50BUCKS FOR MY CRUMPLER. WAHAHA!!!

2006-09-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

GIANZZZZZZ

NEED :

The Dreadful Embarrassment

You are more embarrassing than a lizard without a tongue, chum, more embarrassing than Superman’s skidmarks, son, I’m gonna throw you reverse piking from the diving board with your costume up your three bum cheeks!

both of da hippest colours are taken up by mike n cum respectively. damn it.

2006-09-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

TIME

i tink its time to wake up.

time to focus hard.

time to control temptations.

time to worry more.

time to remember wat kinda person i AM.

time to remember i WUZ from NJ.

time to MUG.

time to prove doubters wrong.

in short, so many things to be achieved within all dis time. but im not gonna take back my promises to myself.

i will deliver.

God will guide me the way.

amen.

2006-09-17T00:19:00.000-07:00

SMTHG OPTIMISTIC

ok so its cfm. i hav a tendon tear. shall begin my intense physiotherapy from dis week onwards.

im gonna make it happen. im SO gonna play soccer aft exams. n i noe i wan it more den anythg now.

n oh. im gonna be involved in an international event during da sem break. wasnt too keen back den. but now, come to tink of it, its kinda cool. haha.

n maybe wat yongjie said is right. there's pressure fer sure, pressure from myself. n since i cant run away from da fact, why not accept it graciously?

so here's a tribute to me, myself, n i. :) hope i did my parents proud.

too lazy to bring back to hostel to scan it proper.

i thank God for it. oso friends hu had made it possible.

n of cos, da sm1 hu changed my frustration into strength. i guessed she will be surprised too.

now, time to TRY to prove my worth. lolz...

amen.

2006-09-13T12:58:00.000-07:00

OUCH

crisis.

hav been looking at my recent posts. rather depressing. told myself da nxt post will be a happy 1 but somehow sad stuff seems easier to share. haha...

pain. my wrist is tearing apart. nv been dis bad b4. worried.

maybe its a sign. maybe all dis while im juz doing smthg to pls ppl arnd mi. tts why im not satisfied. maybe its time to be more responsible to myself.

anywae, smthg to laugh about during todae's tuition session. mi teaching science.

me: so u see, da penis has 2 functions. to pass urine, n to eject sperms during sexual intercourse.

my pri5 kid, wilkie: hmmm, so do i feel da sperm ejecting out of me when i pee? is it painful?

-_-"

me: so how does reproduction occurs?

wilkie: when da penis SHOOTS his sperms out n da virgina SHOOTS her egg out and they met each other.

*faint*

wonder how da teachers teach in school.

amen.

2006-09-12T02:17:00.000-07:00

DOWN YET AGAIN

NO morale is worse den LOW morale...

i noe i gotta study. but cant draw any motivation from deepest within when i dun understand wtf da txtbk n notes.

need a study grp desperately. n smthg tt can make mi happy : soccer.

pls gimme back my leg oh Lord.

amen.

2006-09-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

RESPECT

quote of da yr : a lock n a key may lead u to treasure, but 2 keys will lead u nowhere. --- Nicholas Toon Zhen Jie

n lyk wat i told toon, all scars heal, but some change u. will need smthg reallie tt can touch me deep within to change my perspectives.

but hack, no time for emo stuff. 4.5 here i come.

amen.

2006-09-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

BORED

wuz reading my mb102 notes until i heard dis song over my sis' itunes. EMO LEH... btw, its 1 of da few gd songs by Westlife. lolz...

"Soledad"

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see

Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad

2006-09-02T00:10:00.000-07:00

SUBSTITUTE

ever since i cant play soccer/basketball much more from my injury, i wuz compelled to find new entertainment : drinkin' n *evil thing*...

gimme me back my body, n i'll be more den happy to stay away from booze n *evil thing*... ok maybe not booze cos i dun see it a prob. but *evil thing*, i can do w/o it.

right now, at da comfort of my home, i cant do work cos i got no table i can use. nowhere to go cos its too late, n mos/zouk sux on fridays.

right now, i want a *evil thing*. but, i dun NEED it. so no worries bros, da pact is still intact. juz getting reallie fed up wid my leg.

need a life.

amen.

2006-08-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

DIVINE INTERVENTION

there's a God for sure.

juz when i wuz all so stressed up and waiting for a sign from the Almighty(wuz act looking for prayers on da net...), my dad called. n da nxt moment i noe, he's in my hall, wid a bottle of milk n SUSHI to brighten my day. :) :) :) :) :) :) definitely my guardian angel in disguise. reallie luv my family. :)

will not disappoint them no matter wat. for all u doubters out there, i will prove tt im worthy. but den again, dun reallie care bout wat they tink. so long 对得起自己.

God exists. n He answers my prayers in the most subtle way. while we myt be whining ever on bout our scheldules and commitments, we shud reallie take a step back to consider wat we are fortunate to hav. Praise the Lord.

all it takes is a change in perspective, n i am happy again. no pt. sulking over da uncertainties. onli time will tell.

n of cos, action speaks louder.

amen.

2006-08-27T02:52:00.000-07:00

CHALLENGE

juz finished my mb102 tutorial. if onli m101 is as simple as tt... cow... marina lee sux!!!

did up a time table for my commitments as an undergrad(n as an independent son). so much to accomplish in such a tight schedule... rather low morale juz at da look of it...

need time to adjust to dis new life. but i will not let dis be an excuse for failure in my priorities. sacrifices hav to be made. in short, no time to fool arnd.

shall try to adapt. gotta get used to da phrase i havnt been using for a while. 苦中作乐.

God will be there wid mi.

amen.

2006-08-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

HMMM

nv noe tt i hav to reply a TAG... lol... quite fun tho... so here goes!!!

10yrs ago :

1. i wuz in lianhua primary school. da gd old days... :)
2. i ate, slpt, n breathed table tennis.
3. i wuz stress-free.
4. my hormones were rampantly outta control.
5. i tot i found luv.

5yrs ago :

1. i wuz trying hard to learn how to mug wid a company of ah bengs. bad idea.
2. table tennis suddenly dumped mi. n i wuz throwing rubbish instead of playing. hai...
3. i wuz playing soccer wid much joy n passion, not to mention da ability to play it.
4. i knew i will miss sji. how true.
5. i tot i found luv again. turned out real bad. so bad so bad so damn fucking bad.

1yr ago :

1. suffering in army. juz came back from thailand cresendo. traumatised wid my man's loss.
2. clubbin' my life away. tot there wasnt much to do anywae. lolz...
3. din noe my brain was actually functional till now.
4. wuz looking forward to uni life.
5. i tot of luv again, but dis time i found new meaning to it, n concluded tt i will nv get lucky in it.

5 songs i knew da words to :
1. A Bad Dream
2. That's Why (You Go Away I Know)
3. Don't Cry
4. 心如刀割
5. 不服

5 snacks i luv n wish i cud eat :

1. PASTA
2. SASHIMI
3. BLACK PEPPER CRAB
4. CURRY FISH HEAD
5. SLURP SLURP AT AH MEI'S!!! ok maybe all of da above are rather heavy snacks??? lolz...

5 places i'd run away to :

1. my hostal.
2. phuture.
3. music underground.
4. mos.
5. anywhere. so long im by myself eg. movie, run, swim etc.

5 things i'd nv wear :

1. tight fits
2. earrings or studs.
3. skirts.
4. mutt-ty fashions.
5. hawaiian shirts.

5 fav. tv shows :

1. go-go jacky.
2. guess³.
3. epls n spls matches.
4. espn sports centre.
5. mtv.

5 greatest joy :

1. my family.
2. my freedom.
3. my pals out there.
4. soccer.
5. tioman.

5. meli5 ppl im tagging :

1. paul, da few tt im fortunate to hav to share my woes.
2. toon, da gang's one n onli.
3. mike, da few surviving bros, haha...
4. weiyang, da partner in crime. lolz...
5. mel, party chic!!! haha...

2006-08-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

LOW

suddenly, there's so much to handle.

work, studies, n hu wud hav expect, my feelings are crying for attention.

im sry if hadnt made things as clear n simple as it can be. but i meant wat i say. im sry if i had made u guessed thus far. n i do hope u understand my decision. i dun wanna be unfair to u cos i noe such feeling of being under-rated sux. but u do matter to mi. tts for sure. but perhaps dis isnt da pt. da bottom line is im not ready. n i shud seriously not waste ur time anymore. do hope things can be da same again.

tink im on da verge of depression again. so much to take all of a sudden. n da bloody mb101 n mb102, im gonna f-ing ace u all. mark my words u damn lousy subjects. lol. ok lah at least B. :p

bros, keep out. i dun wanna do any splash damages.

God help us all.

amen.

2006-08-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

BLUES

school has started fer gd. slack time table, accompanied by a slack mentality, aint gonna get mi too far though. :p

anywae, my bloody com has been hacked/infested. so thx to ntu im gonna format my com real soon. ..!.. to hu ever responsible.

n btw, im not slack. im juz not ready to settle down to study too much. $$$ is still my main concern now. hai~~~

feeling rather helpless actually. n got sick recently too. sucks to be gg thru these all at once.

shall find motivation from hh n paul. hahaha... reallie impressed wid dis bros. but still, easier said den done.

n btw, i juz wanna comment tt smoking n drinking aint bad unless u lost urself. so long u r in control, its fine. at least tts my opinion. juz rather surprised at how da society or juz ppl arnd mi shun such acts completely. ppl differ u noe. u cant juz judge by wat they do. so toon, if u reallie wan a puff, go buy a pack urself. u can pass da rest to mi n i'll gladly throw/smoke it away for u. hehehe...

still need read my notes. dun understand wtf da lecturer wuz blabbering about da whole ytd. god bless mi, in everythg.

n oh, bro, im truely happy for u. to hav found some1 hu shares da same thinking aint easy. juz cherish wat u hav. n dun forget bout wat u alrdy hav. dun worry so much bout wat ppl say. u noe wat u r doing, everythg will turn out fine. cos sad to say, im getting lost in every sense as compared to u. haha...

once again. God bless.

amen.

2006-08-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

UGLY

fuck man.

if things stay dis way, i'd rather not come home.

God, help.

amen.

2006-08-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

GETTING READY...

juz when i wuz thinking wat to blog about, its suddenly came across to mi tt im starting sch n not knowing its school anthem. hmmm... says alot bout uni life huh?

anywae, since ntu is making life so damn difficult for mi, why shud i care? im tokking bout subject registration n add/drop period. spent da whole day planning my time table onli to realise tt im not allowed to plan it, n half da time thinking of wat to take for pe/ue onli to discover tt i can onli poh heng suey. nin lau hiah...

ok lah. its juz mi. getting reallie freaky over da prospect of wat lies ahead. maybe its juz a wake up call for da challenges ahead.

tink i worry too much. some stuff are best left wid room for exploration den having da definite answers fer them. but tts juz mi. i dun lyk uncertainties. i dun lyk 1/2-f answers. I DUN LYK CHANGES. haha... but bo bian... im a student all over again. undergrad, to be more exact.

will be w/o my com till my sis decides on wat laptop to buy. onli den im allowed to bring da com to my hostel. so will try to add more to dis post.

rather worried wid da previous tie-down regarding my commitment to my hostel. am i supposed to play fer ivp or juz inter-hall? i hope its juz da latter. reallie need a change. n time to give my wrist a break. medical review tmr morning. hope everythg turns out fine.

reallie looking forward to hall life. or rather juz having a room tt i can call MINE. 21yrs of privacy intrusion aint no joke. enuff is enuff! haha... but im still glad of dis family. even tho i find my dad increasingly petty. kao.

time to go. sis wanna play scrabble online wid my future bro-in-law... -_-"

until nxt time, God Bless.

amen.

2006-08-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

MADNESS

since when has clubbin' become a head-banging session?!?! literally. joyce u cow... hahaha... but i hope u gals had fun. hopefully we din spoil it. da guys were juz concern bout u gals. tts all. cheers to da company nevertheless. :)

last nite phuture's simply awesome. non-stop great music. ouch. n of cos, great to see some familiar faces, as well as some new ppl arnd.

yeah my time table's out. apparently even more slack den those from sim. SHIOK. but all da woes as a student are kicking in alrdy. money, money n $$$!!! hai... pls... some decent assignments asap...

school officially starts nxt week. a whole new beggining.

n i pray for everything tt needs Your attention.

health, cash, time, discipline, adaptability, n joy.

amen.

2006-08-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

SPORTS UNION 13

opening ceremony, fe1, fright night at old changi hospital, pool games, night games, sea sports n sea expedition, night cycling from ecp all da way to ntu, fe2, amazing race sports edition arnd s'pore, sp night, n finally, the grand finale.

sports camp, in short, was a blast. impressive organisation n preparation, not to mention da ever entertaining events. n of cos, da ppl there are amazing as well. certainly da best camp arnd, no regrets ever, as da group leaders and block leaders have assured. da friendship forged will nv be forgotten.

actually, i reallie dunno how to define dis bonding between us. its not lyk those kinda thru-thick-n-thin friendship, yet it does qualify in some sense. its definitely not those superficial friendship tt i hate most, those hi-bye friends some of us myt hav. but im sure sports camp is da catalyst tt drew us closer to one another, anythg more will of cos depends on da efforts we made to grow dis friendship. but nevertheless, thank God for such a company throughout dis 7 days.

its oso amazing how ppl hu come from such different backgrounds can click n understand each other in some subtle yet accurate ways. maybe tts wat shit does to u. maybe tts why u make some reallie gd friends in army. haha... even though others myt find our group too quiet, at da end of da day da results say it all; we sure can work together, n there's no need of morale boosting cheers or bonding sessions to make it happen. most importantly, we had fun in our own ways. :)

n of cos, da end is always a beginning. will be busy moving into my hostel dis few days. n before i realise, SCHOOL STARTS NXT WEEK!!! -_-"

im seriously not ready. are u?

but den again, i have You.

amen.

meanwhile, here's another 1 from da camp:

yee-pah, under-leh!!!
pah-li-ah-pah!!!
apple, apple, orange hor-li-gah!
圆得不拿，扁的拿！
扁的不拿，圆的拿！
圆的拿，扁的拿！
HYDRA, HYDRA, 通通拿!

2006-07-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

OMG IM GETTING INTO IT DAMN!!!

juz one of da many cheers i learnt from da camp so far. cant get it outta my head. omg. help mi. exocise da devil within mi!!!

BANANA SONG

THIS is my banana, ha-haha-haha.
this is your banana, ha-haha-haha.
chop off ur banana, ha-haha-haha.
now u've got no banana, HA-HA-HA!
-_-"

now i see why da hell im having insomnia...

out.

2006-07-23T21:35:00.001-07:00

SCARED? UNPREPARED? OMG STUDY?!?!

so its gonna end all so damn soon. my one n onli honeymoon of a lifetime. n school blues are alrdy kicking in. n yes da tekkan session shall begin tmr. they say its gonna be fun, which im sure it will be, yet im juz cant help but to worry bout my fading body. torn hamstring, damaged ligament... wat da hell is happening to mi?!?!

i seriously dun wan to leave my lifestyle now man. but den again, even if its gonna end, im glad i got to experience such a long break from all da sidekicks to truely enjoy n appreciate life.

mahjong sessions. soccer. bball. tennis. swim. gym. even run. chill out sessions at ah mei's, js' n holland v. n of cos, clubbin' wid frens. not to mention oso all da crazy drink-n-smoke-lyk-there's-no-tmr sessions. will be badly missed. :)

time to settle down. in every sense. my feelings. my emotions. my wants. my studies. my life. maybe even my faith.

time to experience da hard part of life again.

but i thank You in every sense. n im confident You'll be there when im in need of help. always.

amen.

2006-07-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

A NEW LEASE OF LIFE

recently, im myself again. tt is, da happy mi during my sec sch times.

hav been thinking why i luv to be back in da days of sji again, n da lifestyle im enjoying currently confirms da reasons why.

take ytd as example. life is simple yet super enjoyable as it is. went to gym at 3, swam at 7, n tennis from 8-10. basically tts juz da old mi, taking time out to do wat i enjoy : sports. life wud of cos be better wid soccer as an alternative, but wun be kept down by dis set back. there's more den soccer i can do. :)

n of cos, most imptly, life is simple. no worries, in particular, no gal trouble. yup. had quite a discussion wid da gang last nite, n yes life wud be so much simpler w/o having to worry bout them. no offence to gals tho. ok maybe its juz mi, my thinking's flawed. but tts da way it is. some scars are juz too deep to neglect.

oso, such lifestyle is CHEAP. hahaha... a tightly-pack day lyk ytd onli cost mi $7.50. hehehe... a much needed break on my spendings.

juz hope tt life continues as it is now.

cant wait fer da brotherhood gathering ltr. da impromtu bbq. it'll be fun! :)

n thank God im happy.

amen.

2006-07-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

DISPAPPOINTED ONCE AGAIN

why... why... WHY!?!?

sux to be mi... or rather sux to be unable to play soccer within dis yr i guess.

no soccer = no life...

another reason to grow fat.

God, help. reallie.

amen.

2006-07-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

IM A GENIUS

damn da freaking lousy contract/terms n conditions of da smf scholarship. even a pri sch kid can come up wid a better 1. bunch of pricks.

juz when i tot smf shows more sincerity in offering da contract, i felt total disgust in da vagueness and ambiguousity they hav thrown on mi. make mi n my mum go down all da way to raffles to find tt she cant be my surety. THX LE. on da other hand, da mpa guy finally called to cfm da written test on mon. nv judge a book by its cover i guess. now i reallie hav an issue at hand. hai~ decisions decisions...

anywae, my whining isnt da reason fer todae's heading. cos aft a double damage from sakae sushi (50bucks) and zouk (>90bucks), there's a real reason to panick bout my already depleting resourses.

N SO I HAV DECIDED TO CALL UPON MY INGENIUS CONTINGENCY PLAN OF DA WEEK : 省钱 CUM 减肥大计划!!!

1st of all, the theme of da week is of cos, save some $$$ n lose some weight. apparently IM REALLIE GETTING FAT. da answer is of cos, EXERCISE. yes. tennis, gym, running (stress...), table-tennis, swimming, and soccer (pls pls tell mi i can make it...), BRING THEM ON!!! n of cos, if im reallie too slack to motivate myself fer such activities, there's always anime n xxx (kidding!!!) tt i can turn to. in addition, some window shopping are possible too. tt of cos, i hav to call upon some impressive self-control n some no-i-dun-deserve-it/fuck-myself-save-some-money psycho session. but im confident it will succeed. :)

okay~~~... bros wid da answers, hu's wid mi? hehehe... dis will be hellava adventure. n if we do succeed, we will reward ourselves wid another session of sqquuaarree rroo000oommm!!! how bout tt? say say saaaayyy~~~!!! ufooo~~~!!!

God help mi. im getting hopelessly lame. :p

but hey, im dead freaking serious bout saving some fats n losing some monee... I MEAN, saving $$$ n losing fats.

...

amen.

2006-07-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

A BAD DREAM
KEANE

why do i have to fly
over every town up and down the line?
i'll die in the clouds above
and you that i defend, i do not love

i wake up, it's a bad dream
no one on my side
i was fighting
but i just feel too tired
to be fighting
guess i'm not the fighting kind

where will i meet my fate?
baby i'm a man, i was born to hate
and when will i meet my end?
in a better time you could be my friend

i wake up, it's a bad dream
no one on my side
i was fighting
but i just feel too tired
to be fighting
guess i'm not the fighting kind
wouldn't mind it
if you were by my side
but you're long gone
yeah you're long gone now

where do we go?
i don't even know
my strange old face
and i'm thinking about those days
and i'm thinking about those days

i wake up, it's a bad dream
no one on my side
i was fighting
but i just feel too tired
to be fighting
guess i'm not the fighting kind
wouldn't mind it
if you were by my side
but you're long gone
yeah you're long gone now

2006-07-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

MOMENT OF TRUTH

omg omg omg omg omg omg...!!!

thank god thank god thank god thank god thank god thank god...!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :)...!!!

need to prepare for a change...

n its time for 1...

nevertheless, cudnt hav done w/o so much help from every1. thx guys!!!

jh asked if i'd prayed for it. n to be frank, i wished i'd done more. sometimes when u get drifted so far away, its hard to look back. but thank God still.

amen.

2006-06-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE???

yup. juz 2 more days of work b4 an emotional gdbye to tangochocolat. dun misunderstand mi aft my post on how great life is working at tt place. despite da many pros, im juz getting tired of da routine work im gg thru. as many of my frens shud noe by now, its damn xiong sitting in da shop not to do anythg at all. but still, thx fer da job olivia n ckw. :)

wuz wasting time away playing daidee on my phone when a call from the smf ppl came. I'VE BEEN SHORTLISTED FER DA SCHOLARSHIP!!! got so excited tt i missed out on da timing of my 2nd interview... :p anywae, hope everythg goes well. n if so, perhaps i can truely enjoy da remaining days of my holz. :)

n oh Lord, pls, help my family. its getting rather hopeless. my dad is behaving lyk a gal, bro behaving lyk a kid, n mum behaving, er, lyk a petty mum as usual.

amen.

2006-06-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

REBORN

yup, finally make a trip to mos aft a 4-5 mths break. n yell yeah i enjoyed myself!!! thx to gloria n of cos, the gang once again.

oh! juz fer da record, spend $0.00 on drinks tt nite, n had 19-22 cups of whisky coke, tequila lime, tequila tonic, champagne and beer, n wat a majestic sight beholds!!! wahaha!!! HIGH. TUCKFOON!!! ooops. no offence tho. haha...

n since im rushing fer work, i shall juz tag js's pics... hahaha. ok, im juz lazy. BUT, i reallie wanna let u guys noe wat u'd missed out... :)

genuine smiles...

2006-06-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

DISAPPOINTED

fuck u.

yes i mean it. fuck u.

as always again, u proved tt good guy dies 1st.

dun make ur problem my problem. im juz trying to help. n if things r reallie so hard fer mi, wats da pt. of maintaining dis friendship?

i nv noe being sincere means diggin' my own fucking grave. thx alot fer dis lesson.

n juz how irresponsible u r, im simply shocked.

life nv revolves arnd u. if it is, life wud be a much more simple episode.

i cannot described how i feel exactly. even though i feel fer ur situation, u still hav no fucking rights to say dis things.

once again, hu da fuck u tink u r.

n i seldom do it to a opposite counterpart, but dis is as much i can take.

yes. FUCK U.

if vulgarities is da way to make u wake up ur idea, i will fucking use it.

2006-06-03T17:34:00.000-07:00

TIOMAN REVISITED...

credits to toon hu burnt all da pics n vids fer da gang. juz to share some great kodak moments. n oh btw, my new speaker rox. :)

the gang on a snorkelling trip, lost my contacts before da actual dip, kao~

dun drool gals... lolz...

all da fun in da world.

full strength as ever. a tribute to brotherhood. top to bottom; left to right : weiyang aka wank, chin guan aka guan, honghan aka hong gan, mike aka rod, jingsheng aka js, collin aka cum, zhenjie aka toon, eugene, mi aka ps, paul aka ball.

fooling arnd wid wank.

rock fall, wid js n cum.

js n his prize, da grp's onli as well aft a 3-hrs fishing trip.

stare wat stare?!?!

blending in perfectly wid nature.

2006-06-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

RE-ME

tell mi im not a freak.

tell mi watching movie alone aint weird or anti-social or juz plain lonely.

btw, if u havnt try. u shud.

wait. why am i putting my words in such tone? cos i feel extremely ok. notting of lonely or sort. juz normal. but to many ppl they tink im gg a bit bonker.

sis, now i understand wat u meant 'when u reach a certain age u can handle many things alone, such as shopping or entertaining urself.'

urs came at mid-twenties. well mine, 21. no, in fact it came officially when i got 20. 早熟。tts da word.

too much time to myself at da shop is pretty gd. at least i got to sort my thoughts out. at least, i noe im alrite now.

i noe i've fully gotten over her, n da idea of another relationship is scary now. i noe i've hardened-up wid my feelings, nonchalent to some extent. in fact, i wanna thank her. she let mi see wats heaven n hell. haha. maybe not to such extent, but near. da feelings of da 2 extremes. wait. maybe i shud thank God tt He brought her into my path? hmmm... i noe im not lonely, not feeling it at least.

so, im here juz fer da sake of bloggin'. n oso an oppotunity to declare wat i am now to any1 hu myt happen to peep into my blog w/o droppin' a note. its rude u noe( ok im guilty of tt myself).

so guys, stop telling mi i need help or i havnt gotten over anythg or i need a life or wat sort. im in control, n proud to say tt not every1 at my age is.

and yes. im here to thank God for all tt i have den n now. my family, my friends, my life, my regrets, my new-self.

amen.

2006-05-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

'love isnt a feeling of wanting da some1 to be happy. if u luv her, u muz make her urs.'

spit.

n tt coming from a personality lyk u, *vomit*.

ok maybe im making a sweeping statement, but some1 hu plays in da name of love, juz aint fit to make such comment.

its juz plain unfair to ppl hu cherish it more den u do.

2006-05-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

TIOMAN

carton or heineken = rm65.00

pack of marlboro menthol = rm3.60

plate of stingray = rm6.00

butch of buddies on board = priceless

yep... no matter wat im gonna praise bout da trip, notting beats 1 hellava company to boost about...

cheers bros :)

ok but back to da topic. tioman is, i call it, da paradise of sins. but no discredit to it, cos i choose to make da trip sinful. :p lively corals, lay-back atmosphere, unscarred natures n not to mention cheap n gd food r juz some of its attraction... but i guess at da end of da day, its da mood u bring on da trip. fer mi, a much needed break from work, n reality of life. n of cos, da company tt followed. hu da hell said 10guys on a island is a total flop? u hav no idea how much fun we had. sitting back to chill wid 24cans of heineken, getting some menthol for kicks, crazy sing-a-long session ( tt 1 i tell u... is downright embarassing yet fun!!!), never-ending volleyball sets. SHIOK.

but lyk i said again, notting beats da pals by my side. not juz da trip, but all da time. :)

ty Lord.

amen.

2006-05-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

STRESS

its mummy day tmr, and im super duper guilty and ashamed.

2 days ago, dis pri 6 kid came to my shop looking fer a mummy day pressie. aft much consideration, he finally decided on a hp pouch which he tinks his mum wud lyk. prob arises when he realised he din hav enuff to pay fer da gift. simply touched by his thoughfulness( and ashamed at da same time), i decided to juz charge him 9 bucks instead of da full10.70. to my surprise he declined my offer, asking fer a loan instead. i shall skip da details on how he digged and searched every pocket of his to make sure he gimme da maximum amount he can afford. but yup tt juz sums up everythg huh. a pri sch kid thinking more lyk an adult den most of us do. or rather, juz mi. hai...

seriously, i dunno wtf is gg thru my mind. simple things can be all so complicated once processed thru my bird brain. 1st wuz da issues over hall. things over hu to live wid, where to live, n personal implications over leeching on others. simply put im juz insecure tts all. n todae. felt dame awkward when i met gw. da feeling tt im depending on him. yes, charity from him. fucking sux.

oh. da purpose driven life oso says tt God gives us talents in things we hav immense passion in. cos the more passionate we are bout smthg, most lykly we'll excel in it, n God wans us to spread His ministry thru da talents we excel in.

juz a personal gut feel, but i dun any passion in mi. i dun feel i can reallie ever excelled in anythg. i look in da mirror, n wat i see everyday is a pair of eyes losing passion, life, and hope.

tink im thinking too much. paranoid, tts da word.

oh n ppl, watch out. im feeling my period coming again.

need divine intevention. desperately.

yoohoo, Up There, U hearing mi?

amen.

2006-05-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE

tts wat im reading, n i tell u, dis is 1 damn hard book to digest.

but of cos, its reallie meaningful, juz tt its not taking its effect on a meaningless being.

hai...

poor faith, accompanying an aimless life, juz dun go well.

oh n btw, da book suggests tt our purpose in life is not for our selfish selves, but for the One Almighty.

but im still having problems opening da door wide for Him.

n da book oso suggests its the Fallen One tts causing all my problems.

but somehow i juz tink its mi.

n im worried. why? cos i cant seem to pray when i wan to. pray well at least. as in those times when u reallie wanna tok to Him, somehow i juz drift away. n im feeling disrespectful.

so dear God up there, pls help.

n before i sign off, juz wanna share wat da book says...

ooops. its in my shop. n i cant remember da exact words. smthg bout life w/o love is meaningless. n how many a times we treat our work, job or things lyk paying bills wid such importance as if we r living our life juz fer them. cos if tts da case, we myt as well juz jump and die.

yup tut 1 thing fer sure. dis book does help mi see wats impt. LOVE.

it emphasizes tt we shud treat all, esp those in da Fellowship, wid love.

now i see. maybe tts why my love for others r not being reciprocated.

cos maybe if they r not in da Fellowship, so in a sense they dun see wat it is to love n being loved da way i do.

or maybe juz im juz one foot inside dis Fellowship, tts why im feeling half-fuck.

somehow dis idea appeals to mi better.

yup, da prob lies wid mi.

so pls, do help will You?

amen.

2006-04-28T10:07:00.001-07:00

WORKING MY SOCKS OFF

i tell u... it amazes mi how near is my workplace to my house... A FREAKING 3 MIN WALK!!! wahaha...

yup i job-hopped again. dis time im genuinely happy. cos most of da time im sitting inside da shop acting pretty, reading newspaper or some books ( yes momo im finishing Life of Pi!!!), trying to make myself busyby rearranging displays. n yes i hav to admit, i do have a more feminine side, and its scary how gay it feels, yet im enjoying it. fuck. wat eugene says myt be rite. i do qualify for singapore brokeback mountain. fuck fuck fuck.

oh in case i havnt do some advertising, its at lot1 shopper's mall, lvl 5, cinema lvl tt is. selling tabletennis equipments and hp, ipod, creative and camara pouches. as expected business hav been reallie slow, to some extent bad. but i tink things will change fer da better once all da publicities and advertisements are made dis weekend.

i tink wat attract mi bout dis job aint cos its slack or pay. ok lah maybe da convenience. OK LAH MAYBE ITS REALLIE DAMN SLACK. hahaha... but i tink da best part of it is tt it makes mi feel impt. why? erm imagine given da responsibility of da whole shop! from timely opening and untimely closing of da shop, maintainence of general cleaniness n tidiness, stock accounting, displays, to da normal socialising wid customers and sales services. it may sound reallie exploited, but i feel lyk my own boss. hahaha... can u imagine i can actually hav da initiative to wipe da display window and sweep da floor. my mum, and my previous army bunkmates will be shock i tell u... hahaha...

but den again, maybe its juz plain boredom. n i come to realise da commission im able to earn r peanuts. eh fuck peanuts are worth more. but satisfaction is all im feeling rite now.

oh hav i forgotten bout a pt.?

im feeling challenged n motivated.

n im feeling happy. :)

amen.

2006-04-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

STILL LOVING YOU

all da reasons to learn guitar, not mentioning my lacking in musical talent of cos. back to da days in sispec, suffering and missing some1 not worthy of my time... dis is one hellava classic.

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there

Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be there

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again
I will be there, I will be there

Love, our love
Just shouldn't be thrown away
I will be there, I will be there

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall, so strong
That I can't get through
Is there really no chance
To start once again

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Yes, I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end
I'm still loving you
I'm still loving you
I'm still loving you, I need your love
I'm still loving you
Still loving you baby

2006-04-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

LIFE...

maybe wat u said is true. but tt onli reillierates life sux. tts sad. juz sad. 好人没好报。maybe it will unfold in some other way, but da fact tt been nice to da 1 u lyk or luv or cherish yet unable to feel appreciated is juz sad. but of cos, how many times do we realli appreciate da ppl hu care for us? 人是在失去了才懂得珍惜。 we all noe how true tt can be. so if im not missed when im gone, tt onli shows im not worth cherishing isnt it? so yup, ive concluded tt im not tt gd after all. shall reflect on tt.

on da other hand guan, wtf happened to ur blog??? hahaha...

i tink, we shud invest our everythg in smthg more real. smthg lyk OURSELVES. hahaha... see... lyk wat i told toon. how can we fail to give ourselves treats when we so willingly spend on others, say gals, esp when we are not confirmed of its returns. tts y, at da end of da day, i feel wats most impt is to be happy OURSELVES. to hell wid da thinking of ‘只要她开兴就好’. so all bros out there, are u treating urself well todae??? if u r still doubting bout it, don't, BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT. =)

2006-04-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

BOOK-O-PHOBIA...

i realise my new job is driving mi crazy, so much so to da extent tt i went for a run juz now! even my dad commented, ' omg! u can run!?!?' "-_-

yup. other den shelving countless books tt nv seem to be in place, im supposed to do despatch from da library to da directors' floor. in addition, clearing up da storeroom, photostating and stapling are juz some other errants expected of mi. so in short, im juz a library assistance cum office boy. not like i mind doing all dis easy tasks, but i guess stability comes wid boredom? but ok lah. looking at da bright side, da chix all always accompanying me in da library. n old naggy backstabbing library aunties as well... hahaha...

hanzhong came to visit mi todae. helped quite a bit to ease my time till close shop. catched up on old times, as well as updating each other's 'happenings'. came across hh's old story, both of us still felt sorry fer him. but we realised he's ok since he'd moved on. den suddenly i became da topic.

'u still havnt forgot her rite...'

no. i did. i moved on. or so i believed. i mean, i dun tink bout her anymore. juz tt i cant stop thinking how cheated i still feel.

n yes. now lookin' back. i still regret dis relationship. or shud i juz define it as a fling. it shud nv ever take place.

but back to my own reflection, although im convinced tt i treated her extemely well, am i reallie so 'perfect' as i tot myself to be? am i reallie such a nice guy tt i claimed to be???

i hav no idea. maybe im juz too proud of myself. maybe im juz trying too hard.

any1 out there. be my judge.

or maybe im juz thinking too much again.

but i guess onli god noes.

amen.

2006-03-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

SHACK OUT

im getting tired. tink im fighting fer a lost cause all over again. or rather, maybe its juz reality getting da better of mi.

damn ur fuck psycho session. there's a difference between loyalty and brainless dogged-following. n yes da more u say, da more i wanna quit. so, fuck off.