'love isnt a feeling of wanting da some1 to be happy. if u luv her, u muz make her urs.'

spit.

n tt coming from a personality lyk u, *vomit*.

ok maybe im making a sweeping statement, but some1 hu plays in da name of love, juz aint fit to make such comment.

its juz plain unfair to ppl hu cherish it more den u do.

TIOMAN

carton or heineken = rm65.00

pack of marlboro menthol = rm3.60

plate of stingray = rm6.00

butch of buddies on board = priceless

yep... no matter wat im gonna praise bout da trip, notting beats 1 hellava company to boost about...

cheers bros :)

ok but back to da topic. tioman is, i call it, da paradise of sins. but no discredit to it, cos i choose to make da trip sinful. :p lively corals, lay-back atmosphere, unscarred natures n not to mention cheap n gd food r juz some of its attraction... but i guess at da end of da day, its da mood u bring on da trip. fer mi, a much needed break from work, n reality of life. n of cos, da company tt followed. hu da hell said 10guys on a island is a total flop? u hav no idea how much fun we had. sitting back to chill wid 24cans of heineken, getting some menthol for kicks, crazy sing-a-long session ( tt 1 i tell u... is downright embarassing yet fun!!!), never-ending volleyball sets. SHIOK.

but lyk i said again, notting beats da pals by my side. not juz da trip, but all da time. :)

ty Lord.

amen.

STRESS

its mummy day tmr, and im super duper guilty and ashamed.

2 days ago, dis pri 6 kid came to my shop looking fer a mummy day pressie. aft much consideration, he finally decided on a hp pouch which he tinks his mum wud lyk. prob arises when he realised he din hav enuff to pay fer da gift. simply touched by his thoughfulness( and ashamed at da same time), i decided to juz charge him 9 bucks instead of da full10.70. to my surprise he declined my offer, asking fer a loan instead. i shall skip da details on how he digged and searched every pocket of his to make sure he gimme da maximum amount he can afford. but yup tt juz sums up everythg huh. a pri sch kid thinking more lyk an adult den most of us do. or rather, juz mi. hai...

seriously, i dunno wtf is gg thru my mind. simple things can be all so complicated once processed thru my bird brain. 1st wuz da issues over hall. things over hu to live wid, where to live, n personal implications over leeching on others. simply put im juz insecure tts all. n todae. felt dame awkward when i met gw. da feeling tt im depending on him. yes, charity from him. fucking sux.

oh. da purpose driven life oso says tt God gives us talents in things we hav immense passion in. cos the more passionate we are bout smthg, most lykly we'll excel in it, n God wans us to spread His ministry thru da talents we excel in.

juz a personal gut feel, but i dun any passion in mi. i dun feel i can reallie ever excelled in anythg. i look in da mirror, n wat i see everyday is a pair of eyes losing passion, life, and hope.

tink im thinking too much. paranoid, tts da word.

oh n ppl, watch out. im feeling my period coming again.

need divine intevention. desperately.

yoohoo, Up There, U hearing mi?

amen.

THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE

tts wat im reading, n i tell u, dis is 1 damn hard book to digest.

but of cos, its reallie meaningful, juz tt its not taking its effect on a meaningless being.

hai...

poor faith, accompanying an aimless life, juz dun go well.

oh n btw, da book suggests tt our purpose in life is not for our selfish selves, but for the One Almighty.

but im still having problems opening da door wide for Him.

n da book oso suggests its the Fallen One tts causing all my problems.

but somehow i juz tink its mi.

n im worried. why? cos i cant seem to pray when i wan to. pray well at least. as in those times when u reallie wanna tok to Him, somehow i juz drift away. n im feeling disrespectful.

so dear God up there, pls help.

n before i sign off, juz wanna share wat da book says...

ooops. its in my shop. n i cant remember da exact words. smthg bout life w/o love is meaningless. n how many a times we treat our work, job or things lyk paying bills wid such importance as if we r living our life juz fer them. cos if tts da case, we myt as well juz jump and die.

yup tut 1 thing fer sure. dis book does help mi see wats impt. LOVE.

it emphasizes tt we shud treat all, esp those in da Fellowship, wid love.

now i see. maybe tts why my love for others r not being reciprocated.

cos maybe if they r not in da Fellowship, so in a sense they dun see wat it is to love n being loved da way i do.



or maybe juz im juz one foot inside dis Fellowship, tts why im feeling half-fuck.

somehow dis idea appeals to mi better.

yup, da prob lies wid mi.

so pls, do help will You?

amen.