NUMB

u noe... i realise how man can reallie adapt with time... juz when i woke up dis aftnn n tot it wuz quite a gd week... i went to read mohan's blog... den all of a sudden da fire came burning in me again...
yes... i forgot... thankxxx to chionging last nite... hahaha... as mohan whined bout... its 1 whole week of shit... basically bravo battery got themselves involved in da 'battalion effort' of S'pore Light-Weight Howitzer Pegasus Commissioning... but from wat most can see... its bravo doing all da damn sai gang... 1st wuz da 40 camo nets which we are supposed to check... if u tink its quite a sight... tink again when u're supposed to unroll them ALL!!! i came back to bunk wid notting but camo nets in my mind da whole day... nxt wuz loading of 200 chairs up da 5-ton... n yes... unloading n placing them in order... in which a MWO insisted on a '3-finger' spacing fer all chairs ahead of Chief of Arty's vetting... b4 i woke up his idea tt my men's fingers are of diff. lengths n sizes... let alone da fact tt there will be a final adjustment when Chief arrives... more shits awaited us... setting up tentages... clearing up da ground... n of cos... ceasing da whole damn party... n all dis... done mostly by bravo... in space of 3-4 days... da rest of da battalion??? charlie battery provided 2 detachments for da exhibition deployment n da remaining slacked in their bunk... alpha battery supposedly to do sentry, which lasted 1 nite, n so-call 'fire-fighting' battery which answers to any last min cock ups... wow. truely a great way to split da chores. truely a battalion effort.
on thurs me n huiren (nsf BC) were informed by BC tt we are expected to be back tml to clear up da whole place... when he broke da news to me... i walked away... making it clear tt im unimpressed... he took mi aside n promised to make up to me...
its not bout me... its da men...
'i noe... lyk tt enuff???' showing mi 2 fingers...
2weeks???
'no lah... siao... how??? enuff???' showing me 3 dis time round... looking proud... as though he'll buy me over fer sure...
i forgot wat i did to break away tokking to him... but i rem i almost showed him my single middle finger n stick it up his arse. ok... we are not claiming all da credits... alpha did send some 20 ppl to help at da end of everythg while we provided wat??? 40 men n 8 specs?!?!
booked out arnd 7pm... went MU... music n chivas drowned da bitterness n unjust... n here i am... woke up with an aching neck...
why i said man can adapt well??? see... as much as im complaining bout da week... im getting reallie numb wid such stuffs... stuffs lyk sai gang... unjust... army's rigidity... or rather some of da senior commanders' stubbornness... n now... i find it easier to feel for my men...
'sergeant why always bravo doing all these arh!?!?'
cos we MING4 JIAN4. but i wud reply, 'its a battalion effort. others have things to do too.'
'sergeant why ONLI bravo doing arh!?!?'
cos we hav a BC who's totally CMI. always gena arrow. n meant tt WE got arrowed. but i justify, 'u see tt ground??? alpha cleared tt up.' yah rite.
'sergeant are we expected to do blar³ oso?!?!'
definitely. but, 'we'll see.'
im finding it easier to lie bout such things... cos it pains me to see da looks on my gunners when they noe da truth... even though i noe most of da time they noe it... its lyk as though they are onli worth tt much... doing all dis crap n feeling being aimed... so much so for da glory days from india... when we came back wid so much pride... undoubtly da best battery in da exercise...
but glory days no more...
... 5mths 16days... amen.

SAD-A-DAY...


woke up at 0730hrs in time for my driving lesson todae... went to pay my long dued hp bills 1st... freaking 106.43bucks... kao... thankx alot le army... yes... we are back at da same old topic again... but i wanna say more bout da driving lesson...
lesson 7 todae... driving test route... bad day... muz be da lack of slp... once again i screwed up da lesson... but den again its juz another excuse for mi to stall twice n mount kerb once... hai... can go screw myself lah... cmi... anywae... drove arnd bt. batok area todae... cannot reallie concentrate properly... 1st drove past lianhua pri which totally transformed into a circus-lookin' place... nxt drove past blk 535 which still holds some bitter-sweet feelings... follow on wuz my old hse at blk 533... i rem. when i went to visit it after i moved... wuz shocked to find da current owner of my old apartment painted his door bright RED!!! scared da daylight outta mi den... asked to drive back to cck area... saw yujie running wid a gal... hmmm... shall not comment too much... else ill be feeling losing out on smthg again... not bad... screwed up da driving for some gd/bad old memories... hahaha...
met up wid mohan n co. for james' ROM at carlton... found da Justice of Peace rather corny at da actual ceremony... anywae is tt wat u call a guy hu pronouces couples 'man n wife' ??? but da title fits lah... considering da fact tt its hard to live in peace wid one another... hee... da sight when james vowed his love for mrs james act touched me quite a bit... i mean... not juz for them... da feeling for ur partner muz be true for all couples rite??? but da stats dont seem to show... hai... sad... juz when i wuz pondering when it'll be my turn... nick asked if i wuz oso 'inspired' to marry since i wuz inspired to go st. james park after watching GOAL! wid him... i laughed it off... but actually... i WUZ inspired... inspired to find a partner tt i can faithfully spend da rest of my life wid w/o getting pissed or sick wid her... haha...
actually... i belief there's no such thing as a 'dream gal'... its meeting da rite person at da rite time... even though she may be nowhere near ur imagination of a wife or gf... all boils down to fate... n maybe fortune... poh4 heng1 suey1... hahaha...
waiting for time to pass... dunno wat to do on a lonely saturday nite... all busy studying... all busy wid other commitments... soccer seems dead... even though there's epl tonite... there's notting near to getting into da action urself!!! hee... itching for a kick... hai... if i had a better pc i can at least rot at home playing games etc. sad... no $$$ to buy a new 1... no chiong-ing tonite as well... bored...
... ... ... ah!!! juz learned how to play minesweeper in outfield thanks to mohan... hahaha... shall go entertain myself!!! wait... ... tt sounds reallie pathetic...



but tts da way it is. :(

juz came back from a 3D2N exercise... shack... screw da damn mosquitoes!!! bloody hell bite mi till my whole face swollen... cow...
im getting stress... gg 21... notting achieved in life... HOW SIA!?!? but den again... every strong fit young man lyk me is gg nowhere as yet... hai... come to tink of it... since all of us cant escape ns... y not make da best out of it... reallie dun understand those chao gengs in my battery... making life difficult for all but themselves... hai... but im not reallie in da best position to comment bout them as well... so... gd luck to all... oh n btw... i realise i screwed up... its 5mths 25days more as from todae... jia lad... too long nv do maths liao... reallie rusty... still rem. how i cant plan sentry timing properly da other time... having prob wid 360min/8ppl... reallie made a fool in front of my men... hahaha...
went to fish prawns da other day wid hh... 26bucks each fer 3hrs... onli managed 7 prawns for da day...( for da record... its hh2:5zh... hahaha...) enjoyed myself though... but wuz reallie impressed wid those lao3 jiao4 there... non-stop harvest lor... throw in da bait dis moment n up wid a catch bout 30 sec later... theres dis reallie decent looking guy tt impressed mi da most... hu happened to hav a gf wif him all da time... hai... seeing couples all over make mi feel lonely... funny... have dis sudden surge of feelings i cant explain... dunno wat is it...
... ... I NOE!!! it all boils down to ARMY!!! its army tt makes mi feel lonely... or horny... or desperately empty... or feeling loss... or aimless... ... maybe tts why ppl chao4 geng3... maybe tts why ppl can find time fer gf... maybe tts why im a 3SG cos i got notting better to look forward to n i lyk da idea of being 'sandwiched' in between... maybe tts why no matter how hard i try ppl still tink im not doing enuff... n though i noe ive been giving my best i still try desperately to seek every1's approval... ... ... maybe its juz me...
... maybe its juz da shackness from da exercise getting to me...
... 5mths 25days more... amen.

1st ever. n nv tot i wud ever. n since my bud give dis a try... y not i give dis a shot too??? lets see wat a 400mhz pc n a 56k connection can do!!! hahaha... bloody piece of s***. juz came back after watching GOAL! the 2nd time. reallie inspired... to go st. james park... wahaha... bet it'll be quite a view...
4mths 14 days to ORD... wonder wat life awaits out there... quite sure ill be missing army though... missing all the exercises tt i choose to curse n complain most of the time... even though there wuz the fun in them... haha... why am i tokking lyk im missing it already??? siao... muz be too long an off im clearing... juz praying tt it doesnt rain those days... else confirm gena 'raped' by da whole battalion of killer mosquitoes in simpang... i heard onli female mosquitoes go on a rampage to 'raped' ppl... bloody hell... purposely 1 lor... noe we ns boys damn horny n desperate... so gena 'raped' oso wun complain... piece of s***!!! wonder if female homo sapien wud ever go arnd raping their male counterparts... hee... crap...
juz had a call from camp telling me tt i need to book in by 1900hrs fer a brief... sux... tt means im missing out dinner wid my family todae... n its my dad's bdae!!! hai... ok... tt onli adds to da pts why i wun miss army... good.
still waiting fer god to answer my prayers... or maybe god is waitin' fer me to reach out fer him... okok... im trying hard k??? been trying to pray whenever i rem. sad but true... i shall now ask fer god's forgiveness... ... ... amen.