SHACK OUT

im getting tired. tink im fighting fer a lost cause all over again. or rather, maybe its juz reality getting da better of mi.

damn ur fuck psycho session. there's a difference between loyalty and brainless dogged-following. n yes da more u say, da more i wanna quit. so, fuck off.

KISS GOODBYE

baby不要再哭泣
这一幕多么熟悉
紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静
给我一分钟专心
好好欣赏你的美

幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
还欠你的我不能给
别把我心也带走
去跟随

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀
每一次kiss you goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

但欠你的我不能给
我才明白爱最真实的滋味
我终于明白

SIMPLICITY IS BLISS...

yes. let's forget bout da whole thing n juz enjoy our friendship. its too much at stake. i mean dis friendship. haha. so, enuff is said. waiting to thrash u in minesweeper flag again... lolz...

went for umpiring n coaching recently. AND WAT AN EXPERIENCE! esp coaching. but 1st of all gotta tok bout earning money thru umpiring. 1 hellava lobang. hahaha... beats da hell out of tuition or wat shit. woohoo. i feel loaded. lolz... :p

on da other hand, coaching is reallie quite a tasty treat. back to da days where i act feel involved in a game. da feeling of every decision matters. although coach yao handed mi quite an easy task to coach such a strong team, but its realli a blast. haha. 1 particular game my tactics actually work! wahaha. shit. feel lyk a bully. haha. but i won it fair n square. hope to hav such oppotunity again. realli a great experience. realli thinking of gg into coaching or juz off court coaching. n im seriously relishing da idea of working wid kids all over again. nie maybe??? but we'll see. rowdy n to some extent irritating. but when u see them put their hearts in wat they do best, u realli feel everythg is possible. i guess simplicity is da way to success. n we adults are sadly losing such gut to go all out fer smthg.

and yes. call mi 刘教练 when da occasion arises. lolz...

REFLECTION

am i thinking too highly of myself? most probably so... anywae... sry for all da misunderstandings... BUT. i tink i hav my own valid reasons to tink whatever way i wan to... simply based from wat i see n feel... n im sure others, if in my shoes, will feel da same. but den again, i may be thinking too much. so, from now on, i will not reveil wat i feel bout some sensitive issues. words of expression are nv enuff to read a story if u wan a whole real picture of da situation.

watched v for vendetta wid hh n collin. lyk wat hh said, its back to da jc days for da us 3 muskateers, where we pon sch to stone at lido. lolz... but looking back, its almost 2yrs den. freaking scary how time flies and ppl change. anywae, da show is awesome simply fer da fight scenes in da undergrnd subway. COOL. but of cos there's more to it. it tells of a life wid a purpose, wid a meaning, which further reilliterates my pt on finding my own in my life. so i guess my all time concern isnt uncalled for. but back to da movie. tho having so much prob trying to read between da lines, but thx to collin, i wuz juz brought to understand n appreciate da underlying meaning to da show. but i guess tts how i am, i tink too much. simple things can be made all so complicated by me. gotta reflect on dis. eh. shit. am i thinking too much bout dis pt. now??? fuck.

had da same old discussion wid collin n hh aaft da show at starbucks. i realised hh n co. are reallie worried fer mi. n i thank god fer such friends. but i believe i can judge things by myself. n collin oso believe tt wat i stand for is justified. so, anywae, thx guys. n lyk i told u all, i oso had da dilemma. but i'd passed tt barrier. now its time fer da kill.

but den again. ami thinking too highly of myself?

most probably so.

but its thru mistakes u learn isnt it?

lyk wat collin says, happiness is everything.

n i juz wanna be happy. :)

HEART, MIND, BODY AND SOUL...

shall not tink too much... hahaha...

n yes in case i havnt said so... i can no longer play table tennis... competitively at least... according to Dr Peng Y.P. fuck man.

but den again... when he told mi to 'take it easy on ur wrist'... i din realli hav much of a reaction... guess im realli gving up my lifetime sports deep down for gd. sad. but i guess ppl get tired n exhausted after such a while playing. not to forget da blank period i had during ns. a passion muz be maintained. if not, it juz dies away...

most prob gg to be downgraded. which myt be da consolation from my injury... but i do hope i can still play bball, tennis, pcc( kidding!!!) lolz...

i realise its hard to be a bastard... i mean... i so nice!!! hahaha... juz cant bring myself to do things to such extent. although my heart wans to... but guess my mind is juz too clear bout morals n conscience... but well done. tink i deserve a pat on my back... haha...

n yes... aft yesterday, i begin to be paranoid bout business... all da fuzz bout big money n prospect is juz a smokescreen to blind u from all da deceits and bullshits it beholds during da process... juz watch where u r gg... n most imptly... nv lose urself...

still waiting fer a light in my life in many apects... so god... pls be there.

amen.

SEH...

wtf?!?!

MOTIVATION

some are putting their money on me.

some, are against me.

others, are doubting me.

myself, is doubting my decision. but dis will be da last time i will allow myself to be stuck in such dilemma. getting stuck in da moment will onli mean notting achieved in return.

im gg all out for it. cos i hav notting to lose. dis cud be a make or break. but i will make sure it happen.

watch out. im coming thru.

n i pray fer god to be on my side.

amen.

CLARIFICATION

erm... regarding previous post, im juz referring to my right hand n notting else. so SAA(Single and Available) gals, dun be sad... u gals will still be considered... dun give up... :p

pardon me for my bad sense of expression. nv reallie excelled in gp in terms of language. but its reallie tt bad w/o my master hand... haha...

MISSING YOU...

recently, i fell in luv. maybe not so in da strictest sense, cos she's always been arnd, juz tt i fail to realise how impt she is to mi. it's onli when she left den i start to feel da difference w/o her, n it hurts badly. men are all so similar yup? its onli when we lose smthg den we began to regret, juz to find its all too late. dis post, is specially dedicated to u my luv. n if u do come back to mi, i promise i'll cherish u lyknv b4...

10 things i missed w/o u by my side:
01. da times we spend in da shower together. how we showered each other wid such luv and passion.
02. how u wud so conveniently carry my bag when it gets too heavy for mi to bear. such luv from a partner, nowhere to be found on earth.
03. how u wud feed mi all da time, n lyk a child, i luv every minute of it. but its all gone now.
04. the way u push back my hair, so warm, so gentle. such sensation im feeling no more.
05. how u wud scratch my back fer mi when its unreachable within my means. im sure couples noe wat im tokking bout. yes da itchy-sweet feeling. but its of no more of now. n how im missing (n itching for) it.
06. how u wud luv to snatch my phone n reply my sms wid such speed tt i wud nv able to do it myself. yes. typing is a chore all so suddenly w/o u. tts how dependent i am on u.
07. nv a sociable person, but i am opened to da bigger world cos of u. u make mi realise how easy it is to meet new ppl, n yes i can nv hav da courage to do it myself w/o u.
08. checking mails hav nv been da problem wid u arnd, mainly cos i hav u arnd to check them n clear da junks. are u checking them? its full n hotmail is nagging mi to clear them up.
09. mahjong wuz nv fun w/o u. u r my thinking cap. my lady luck. w/o u, im always on a losing streak. i need u back.
10. nv lyk to keep my wallet by my pocket. its always wid u. another reason da pocket's left empty cos of u. i noe how u luv to hold mi thru my pocket. nowadays, my pocket is always occupied, wid my wallet of cos. i need smthg more warm, more human in it. i need u.

im reallie sorry fer wat i've done. i shud hav known all da while how impt u r to mi. but im juz another sorryful and regretful ass trying to make amend. so pls, do come back.

n fer those hu r reading dis. pls, cherish wat u hav now, n if u r not sure wat to cherish in ur life, look harder. cos when its gone, its all too late... fortunately fer mi tho, she said she will consider her options and tell mi on mon. i hope she's staying fer good, n da signs are optimistic. thank you Lord for a second chance.







in memories of my right hand.

CHEERS TO ME!!!

suddenly, da world is all so beautiful.

suddenly, all is smooth-sailing all over again.

suddenly, there's a whole new excitement to my life.

yes. im tokking bout ME.

yes. 5th march wuz a day well spent. thankx every1.

yes. i passed my driving on my 1st attempt todae. 10pts. failed to slow down when approaching safety hazards(6 pts) and change lane abruptly(4 pts)... but da bottom line is I CAN DRIVE NOW!!! hahaha...

yes. operation tml. praying for my own safety... more gd things to come im sure...

yes. i belief god is listening now...

thank U oh Lord...

n yes... i pray in Ur most Holy Name...

amen.

CHEERS TO ALL

words are nv enuff to describe one's feelings... touched... delighted... emotional... yesterday wuz simply one of da best i ever had...

yup... juz to summarise da turn out... 70 plus ppl(strangers included)... tons worth of food... immense amt of blessings... smiling faces worth a million to mi... and of cos generous amt of gifts!!! hahaha... and how can i not mention da cake of my life??? will be posting it arnd soon... lolz... reallie damn proud of it... thanks mum!!!

though given time to give my speech b4 i cut da biggest cake i ever had... i feel i din make full use of it... so here goes a more detailed 1... :)

to my family... thank u for all da luv u've always being giving all dis while... so unconditional... so miraculous... i cannot ask for anythg more for a family... n da effort u guys put in yesterday... wuz beyond wat any1 can ask for...

to my frenz... great turn out yesterday!!! n always had been in my life!!! hahaha... things will nv be da same w/o u guys by my side... all da joy and fun we share will not juz end here... im sure dis friendship will last till da end... n of cos... can always count on u guys to give mi a hand for mi when im down... thank you all so much for making da world all so beautiful for mi...

to relatives and 'relatives' friends'... thanks for da generous gifts u've brought along... hope to noe u guys even better... :p

lastly... to Almighty One... thank u fer all da things in my life... which at times i will overlook and underestimate how much they actually mean to mi... thank u fer everythg...!!!

SHOCK

omg... some1 is actually reading my blog... wuz beginning to wonder if im alone in dis world... lolz... so fer u out there... koon... i reallie hav no idea hu are u... pai say... hahaha...